Gone Country.

My husbands 10 day snowboard trip just happened to coincide with my little man's 10 day break from school vacation... hmmmmm coincidence?

I think not.

Either way this hiatus gave us the perfect chance to head back to the country to get in some good family time, which is sure to be filled with lots of fishing and more than a few tractor rides.

We will be traveling until Monday night, so until then I wish you all a wonderful rest of the week and a great weekend!

Coooooookkkiiiieee! (sort of)

Remember how devastated I, along with a large portion of the mom world, was when Cookie  unexpectedly, and for no good reason, folded? I hate to say it, but I honestly still can't let this magazine go. Next to my bed I keep my remaining 7 issues, dog eared, with missing pages, and about once a month I look through them remembering what once was. The great recipes, the amazing mom fashion, the simple parenting advice, not to mention the fabulous design ideas it carried for kids in the house, big and little.

In short, I miss it.

This is why I was so excited to stumble upon this group, via Lucy and I, which has uploaded old issues of the magazine. I know it's not the same as a new issue each month, but it sure beats looking through my half destroyed copies.

Also for all you Domino fans, there's a group for that too.

Now if only we could find a way to bring back the two BEST MAGAZINES EVER!

Oh, if I could only rule the publishing world...

Why?

Why oh why, when you have pretty much the most perfect hair in the whole world, would you EVER think of cutting it, again.

Why oh why, when you have hair that women all over the world want to emulate (ahem me) and do at every appointment (me again) would you EVER think of cutting it off into some sort of Gwyneth Paltrow, circa 2009 do?

I mean, just because Olivia Palermo did it, and admittedly looks fabulous, why oh why do you have to follow suit? Let us not forget she is 20 something, and ridiculously gorgeous. If she jumped off a bridge, do we all have to do so. (Give me a minute to think about this one.)

Really, did we learn nothing from this incident a decade ago?

Yes, Jen I am, talking to you. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid yoou have some answering to do for this.

It's not that it's bad, per se, I don't really mind the cut... it's just... why?????????

Maybe she got gum stuck in it? Maybe she had a bird that flew into the back of her head and this was the only way to save it? Maybe she slipped and fell into a pile of super glue? Maybe she just got really, really stoned?

I mean, there has to be a great explanation here, right?

Note to self: You are not Olivia Palermo, do NOT cut your hair.

I Hate To Admit It But...

... I TOTALLY need this.



Every year I SWEAR I am going to throw away my UGG boots, and every year come February, they are the ONLY thing I wear. I wish I could say I at least have a nice pair, but I've been wearing the same pair since high school (yes, growing up 17 years ago they were actually cool in my home town) and I just can't pry their ugly, comforting, goodness off my freezing feet. They are a perfect example of how something can be SO good and SO bad at the same time. This is one addiction I may need some help in kicking.

I wonder if Uggcirtin is safe for pregnant women?

Happy weekend!

19 Week Bump.

As I was running out the door for yoga this morning, I caught a glimpse of my 19 week bump in the mirror and I figured that this would be the perfect time to fulfill some of the requests that my friends and family members have been sending me to show proof I really am growing a little one inside my belly.

So, here it is, in all it's glory, the (almost) 19 week baby bump. 

I can't leave out the aerial view... and I'm happy to report that I can still see my toes!

As an aside, I have to tell you that I am LOVING yoga right now. Other than the fact that I have to pee all the time, and that I can (and do) eat everything in sight, I don't really have much of a chance, on a daily basis, to remember that I am actually pregnant. I am so busy chasing my little man that I rarely have time to remember that there really is a little human in there. In yoga, however, I get an hour to really connect with my body, and I have found this is the time that my little guy likes to do back flips and somersaults. I guess it's his way of reminding me that, "hey Mom, I'm in here." I now refer to it as our one-on-one time, and I really do treasure it. To think I spent all my time swimming while I was pregnant with the LM, not feeling anything. That will definitely reserved until the last trimester this time around.

So there you have it, the first bump pic. Things are only going to get a lot bigger, and sadly messier, from here on out. Stay tuned...

This Baby Better Like Blue!

After getting the results from our ultrasound Monday (which was absolutely perfect :)) I decided to spend the afternoon, yesterday, reconnecting with my pregnancy (i.e. sorting through a bunch of baby crap) and I realized two things:

1. My little man only wore blue for the first year of his life, and despite the fact that in my head I loathe the idea of  pink for girls, and blue for boys, I clearly didn't pass this philosophy on to my little man. All I can say is that it's a good thing we are having a boy, because if it was a girl she would have some serious gender confusion with everyone calling her a he. I hope this baby likes blue, because he's got a sea of it (or three large bins of it, to be exact) waiting for him when he finally makes his arrival. 
2. I clearly overbought newborn diapers the first time around. Yes, those 200+ diapers are leftovers from the little man. The fact that they made it though 2 moves is pretty impressive, I have to say. I'm not sure if it was because my guy was 8 1/2 lbs at birth, or if it was part of my insane fear that we would run out of anything and everything. Either way we still have WAY too many diapers in every size, which is a a good thing, because if there is one thing I remember, it's just how many diaper changes a little one needs. 

Clearly, the nesting has set in...

Next step, painting the nursery!

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentine's Day from my little valentine to all of you!

Is That Your Final Answer?

7:15 am I got the call... our amnio results were in and they came back as PERFECTLY NORMAL! Can you say relief? We have a followup ultrasound appointment on Monday, and according to my midwife (yeah, I'm all set with my former doctor) if all goes well than we can consider ourselves to be completely out of the woods. Oh, those words were music to my ears. My Little Man has spent the day running around telling everyone, "the baby's okay!" after he heard me on the phone with Daddy, so I have a feeling I will have a little bit of explaining to do, but really we couldn't be happier.

These past few months have been such a roller coaster of emotions, and really when you think about it, it's been so for the past two + years. I am so looking forward to having this baby, hopefully healthy and at 40 weeks, and then moving on from the child bearing years, into my child rearing years. I can just picture my two little boys playing together in the sand, and I finally feel like we are almost at the finish line... a 22 week finish line, but a finish line none the less. I have to thank you all again for your amazing support, and hopefully from here on out, I will only have good news to share.

In other news, I have to tell you that my Little Man is officially obsessed with dinosaurs. I came to this conclusion when, today at swimming, I changed him out of his dinosaur pajamas, into his dinosaur bathing suit, and then into his dinosaur T shirt, which he insisted on wearing for the 2nd day in a row. When I went to put on his jacket I uncovered some dinosaur toys that he smuggled in his pocket. I'm thinking it's time I brushed up on my natural history because, like my superheros, I can barely tell a stegosaurus from a triceratops.

In addition, today, I booked tickets for our first monster truck rally. Although I have no idea what we are in for, I'm pretty sure things in my kid's world will never be the same after next weekend.  All I can say is that it's a good thing we are having another boy, I'm not sure how a barbie would fare in this household. For that matter, I'm not quite sure how I am going to fare in this household. I need to learn how to speak boy... and fast!

I wish you all a wonderful weekend, with lots of sunshine! (Ohhhh wouldn't that be nice!)

Because NO ONE Wants To See a Naked Bump!

I've been desperately trying to avoid purchasing any new maternity clothes to cover my ever growing bump, desperately. In fact, I have been doing great during these cold winter months given that my usual wear consists of leggings, long chunky sweaters, and T's. These items easily double as maternity wear, and to be honest, up until now, I thought the same could be said about my existing warm weather clothes. And then I tried some of them on, yeah, not so much. See, I'm pretty sure that when you are not pregnant, you forget just how massive you were when there was a baby growing inside of you. I tried a few tops on over the weekend, and even at 18 weeks, things are looking a bit short and tight (never a good look) and to wear them 20 weeks from now? Forget about it!

Because no one wants to see a naked bump, and because my last ENTIRE maternity wardrobe consisted of work suits, and Juicy sweatpants (I wish I was kidding,) I decided that before we head to California in a few weeks, it was in my best interest to pick up something to keep me covered. I looked for clothes that weren't exactly "maternity," ordered a few sizes up, and picked fits that would cover my belly, while also being super appropriate for wear while shedding those last 10, 20, or 30 lbs (this is still TBD.) I didn't want to break the bank, because by the time these things make it through Summer, spit up, and breast feeding, I'm not quite sure what type of shape they will be in. Lastly, I looked for super neutral colors that would easily mix and match. It's not a lot, but with the right accessories I think it's the perfect Spring, Summer, (Non) Maternity wardrobe!

Clockwise from top left.

1) Striped Sailor Shirt, J.Crew.
2) Olive Striped Sweater, J.Crew.
3) Navy Schoolboy Blazer, J.Crew.
4) Ribbed Tank (I picked up a few in various colors), Gap Maternity.
5) Cotton Maxi Dress, Gypsy 05.
6) Striped Skirt, Anthropologie.
7) Skinny Jeans, Gap Maternity.
8) Cotton Maxi Dress, Gypsy 05.

Now if the warm weather could just get here already! Ah, well, at least I'll be ready... and clothed!

Hello World!

Second Opinion.

Something about our first scan just wasn't sitting right with us. After the anxiety of the last week, my husband figured it would be better if I went in and had a second scan done by someone who we know, who would really take the time to measure every inch of our baby's little body.

Guess what?

The baby is perfectly fine! I am 16 weeks and 6 days, and the baby measured between 17 weeks and 1 day, and 17 weeks in 4 days. All within an ideal range. The longest part of the little guy? His thigh bone! The same thigh bone that measured short. Go figure. Either the bone grew over the last 4 days, or it wasn't measured incorrectly the first time around (I can assure you that yesterday's was done with the most care and detail ever seen on a 17 week old in the history of ultrasounds.)

There still was a little "something" with the heart, but not to the extent we saw last time, which can absolutely happen as these things usually correct themselves. This isn't even a blip on my radar at this point.

Do you all hear that? That's the sound of my exhale being heard around the world. I feel so blessed that our little guy is going to start out his life without an array of health concerns, and if we didn't feel like we were lucky enough before, we sure know we are now.

Relief....(almost.)

My new favorite word: Normal. 

Yes, we finally heard late last night from my doctor and the FISH results came back normal. No Down's, no trisomy 13, 18, no spina bifida. Nothing. This was a HUGE relief and to be honest I am only having time to process it now. I got the call a few minutes before pickup at the LM's school, and after an excruciating 10 minutes on hold we got the great news (while I was locked in the director's office with the little man banging on the door.) She said the results are clear, and even though we have to wait for the final amnio results, we can cross these concerns off our list.

But (why is there always a but?)

When we went in for the amnio they did a fetal survey. Usually this is done after 18 weeks, but since we were there they took all of Gray's measurements. At the time we were told the legs measured average. Now it turns out that one (I believe) femur is measuring short. They also saw a VSD, which is a tiny hole in the heart, and is pretty common. Usually, it closes up in it's own, or surgery is needed to close it, but it is in no way a major concern. What is a concern is that they found both of these. What it means is one of three possibilities:

1. The test was done too early or there was error on the technicians part. By 18 weeks the femur could be just fine. 
2. They are two totally and separate issues, and the heart could close and the leg is something that we will have to wait and see on, or 
3. It is indicative of a bigger problem. These are, surprisingly, signs for Down's Syndrome (which makes me even more confident in the choice to get the amnio) but could also be a sign of something else unknown that no testing will uncover until birth. 

We are obviously hoping for 1, or 2, but we will also be meeting with a Geneticist to see what else we could be looking at. This whole thing has been such a roller coaster, but the bottom line is yesterday we received amazing news.

A lot of you are curious about what we were planning to do if the test came back positive. We got this question from our friends and family as well, and the fact is that I really tried not to think about that at all this week. Making that decision would have been the most difficult of my life, and I figured that there was no need to decide anything until we had all the answers, which is why we opted for the amnio. Before we had children my husband and I always had said that we would likely not have the baby, but of course after all we had been through with the infertility, feeling the baby, knowing the sex, having had a child, etc.. makes things feel much different than when you are talking about some theoretical situation. Since Friday we haven't really discussed what we would plan on doing, but rather focused all of our energy on the LM and wishing with all of our might that everything would turn out okay.

Which it pretty much has.

I appreciate all of your calls, emails, comments, and well wishes. I completely understand the questioning of what our decision would be (after all I share almost everything else here) and I'm so unbelievably happy that we don't have to make that decision. I especially want to thank those of you who have been through something similar, who emailed me their stories, and offered you hand while navigating through this. Hearing from you made me feel like I was not alone, and I promise to respond to you all soon. I cannot thank you enough for your kindness, and it just solidifies for me why I share my life on this blog, because so many of you are willing to open up and show the true kindness of strangers.

This has been the longest week ever, and hopefully soon we will have answers as to what else could be going on. I am going in for another sneak peek today, in hopes that the measurements were off, but I plan on spending the weekend reconnecting with my boys, the ones in utero and out.

It really does feel like the weight of the world has been lifted. Here I thought waiting on the bar results would  have be the longest wait of my life....

Waiting... Waiting... Waiting.

Is it wrong that I want to stalk my test results?

I tracked down the lab, found out per their website that the FISH test only take 24-48 hours once the specimen is received. It was picked up Tuesday at 10 and the lab is an a hour away. Assuming there were other pickups then I'm guessing it got to the lab by 4pm. unless the snowstorm of the last TWO days kept the technicians at home, then it has to be back later today.

Right?

Yeah, I think I need to read a book or something.

Whoever said that patience is a virtue, clearly spent their life medicated... or drunk.

Anytime now PLEASE!

*UPDATED* I finally broke down and called my OB at 10:57. Results are still in "process." She isn't sure if the snow will delay the results. As if I needed another reason to hate the snow.

Ugh.

Quick Update.

Hi Everyone!

Thank you again for all of your well wishes! Right now baby and I are doing fine. I had the amnio this morning, and it definitely wasn't as bad as I anticipated it would be. Our doctor literally wrote the book on this procedure, so I am feeling pretty confident that we shouldn't have any unexpected complications from the test (fingers crossed.) We had a full fetal survey don, along with the amnio, and got (hopefully) some good news. The baby (which is DEFINITELY a boy) has all of it's body parts, the legs measure normal (shorter can be a sign for down's), the neck was small and not filled with fluid (another sure sign), and most importantly we saw a pretty prominent nasal bone (the majority of children with down's syndrome are missing this feature.) Seeing this, and our super active baby, went miles to put my mind at ease.

Yesterday, we met with my OB and got some clarification as to what triggered their concern and the increased risk factor. I guess during the first trimester our nucleal fold measured 2.8. 3.0 is the cutoff for "normal" so the fact that I was on the high side of normal is the main concern. Also, when my blood work came back my HCG was 2.6 and ideally it should be 2.0. Everything else was totally normal including the AFP. These two things, combined, are what put us in the 1:30 category.

The good news is that our doctor ordered a FISH, along with the amnio, and if all goes as planned we should have our preliminary results by Friday, confirmation in 10 days. It's going to be a long three days, but seeing that big nose definitely allows me a lot more peace of mind.

Thank you again for your prayers and thoughts, I'll let you all know the outcome as soon as I hear.