Pretty in Pink.

 The things that make Grayson a happy boy can be listed on one hand.  He loves Lego's, his brother, super heroes, weapons of all kind (think toy guys, sticks, bow and arrows,) and the color PINK.  If we were listing them in order, pink would definitely be on the top.  I don't know what it is, but the kid just loves it.  I saw it once with my girlfriend's 5 year old daughter, the everything needing to be pink, and probably inappropriately, I chalked it up as a "girl" thing, remembering how my little sisters were the same.  Well, when it's your almost three year old boy who only wants things to be pink, that can be a different story.  I'm going to start this off by saying I'm not someone who consciously plays in to gender stereotypes, and when it comes to parenting we are definitely on the liberal side, but looking back, we certainly have a majority of male targeted toys and clothing, much to Gray's dismay. The Little Man never asked for anything pink or purple, and honestly, they are my least favorite colors, so I never pushed it. 

About 90% of what Gray gets, comes from his older brother.  He is more than okay with this, and actually gets pretty excited when the big Rubbermaid bin of hand-me-downs comes out.  The first thing he does it tear through it, desperately searching for anything with a superhero, and anything that is pink.  Typically he scores on the first, but is left empty handed on the second.  One day, after a meltdown of meltdowns, I told him that he can pick out whatever new things that he may need, that we don't already have from his brother.  So far, we haven't really needed much, but the kid is in desperate need of some new water shoes for the Summer, and knowing how much he hates new shoes, I decided to let him participate in the picking out of his shoes. 

You all know where this is going.

Of course, he picked the pink pair, and not just a pink (like salmon) but the pinkest, pink of them all. What I like to call Barbie pink.  After a quick call to my husband for approval, we decided to stand by our motto that the kids can be who the kids want to be, and I made my toddler happier than I have ever seen him when I ordered him these. 

Now, I have absolutely NO issue with my kid wearing pink.  None whatsoever.  We are fully supportive of his unwavering love of things the color of cotton candy, and his big brother actually thinks it's the greatest thing ever, since he now has someone to give all the pink whatevers to that come in a box.  BUT I do have to say I get a little nervous about what other people will say.  Not necessarily to him or me, but I feel like my kid wearing pink shoes is automatically going to make some people around here roll their eyes, and think that we (as his parents) are pushing some sort of agenda.  Kind of like how the LM wants to be a vegetarian (essentially by deciding that he hates meat) but I keep trying to get him to try every animal product under the sun, because I know that people will assume that we are pushing our eating habits on him, when the opposite is actually the case.  I realize that this has more to do with me, and obviously I need to grow thicker skin, and in thrush in the end we always do what is right which means the LM eats a lot of beans, and Gray gets pink shoes, a pink birthday cake, and this pink gun (which basically combines all things holy in his world.) 

I remember meeting a Mom once, who had a son that liked to wear dresses.  It wasn't because of gender confusion (that she thought) but instead it was due to his obsession with his older sister, and wanting to be just like her.  She said she fought it somewhat the beginning, but then decided to go with it, even allowing him to dress however he wanted for school.  I remember thinking how bad ass she was, the way she fully embraced who her son was, so I'm going to try to channel a little of her if the time ever comes when I feel a little judgement. I'm pretty sure this is just a phase for Gray (like the LM and his nail polish) but if not, I guess all of us are going to have to get used to a little more pink, in this sea of blue.

The Little Man... Not So Little Anymore.

I can't even believe it, but my little man is no longer little.

 On Wednesday, he graduated from Kindergarten, and is (somewhat) reluctantly bounding in to the first grade.  I remember this time last year, obsessing about whether we found the right school for him, was it right to wait and make him an older kindergartner, and general nervousness about how his year would go.  A year later, it is glaringly clear that every choice we made was the right one for him, and yet another reminder that no one knows your kid like you do.  I couldn't be more proud of the man he is growing in to, and I wish I could stop time because I'm pretty sure this age is the best there is.

 Now, I'm pretty sure that you can't end a school year without a little FUN, and we capped ours off with a pretty epic sleepover to celebrate these little guys' big accomplishment. 

(Deep discussion here regarding which power ranger has the more powerful weapon)

For the LM, when you read this (hopefully) some 20 years from now, please know that you are so incredibly loved by your family, and the charming, unique, funny person that you are becoming brings so much joy to those around you, especially for your Mom, Dad, and baby brother.  I hope you never loose you free spirit, or your strong sense of self, because what you have inside you truly is special, and I know you are going to make a difference in this world.  Congratulations on finishing your first year!!! - love mom

Our Favorite Children's Books.

 Around the time school started, something magical happened in our house. At night, after dinner and baths, BOTH of our kids decided that they wanted nothing more than to sit and read books on the sofa with us. Usually for as long as we are willing to do so. Prior to the birth of Gray, this was something we did every night, but I have to admit that this tradition got lost in the mix the two years that followed.

 Until recently, most nights I would climb in bed with the LM and read to him, while my husband would try to corral Gray long enough for us to get through at least a book or two. Sure we would "read" to Gray, but I have to be honest, he was usually happier throwing the book than listening to it, and any books that he would want to read were too "baby" for the LM (his words, of course.)

 Over the Summer I did a large book and toy purge, while prepping the boy's room for the makeover, and I tried to pull out all the books that the LM really, really loved for the past few years. It's not surprising that Gray too started to love these books, and by having his old favorites on hand, the LM has become incredibly excited about sharing these with his baby brother. Sure, we still try to sneak in our Harry Potter time, but most nights I let each boy pick out one book, and then we all decide on one book together (usually a new library book.) I've noticed a trend over the last few weeks, that the boys tend to gravitate to books in the same series over and over. Some of it has to do with the content (trucks, superheros, etc) but more so I think it has to do with the fact that these are just really good books. I never tire of reading them, and the boys rarely tire of hearing them. For you seasoned parents out there, most of these will not some as a surprise, but for you newbies, or those looking for gifts, here are the book series that get 4 thumbs up from my little guys (mom and dad too.)

Awesome Man is by far the LM's most favorite book. The second in the series Bumblebee Boy is great for those with siblings!

From day one, any and every Leslie Patricelli book has been a hit in our house. I'm pretty sure we own every book she's ever written. Yummy Yucky has to be the house favorite, followed closely by No No. Yes Yes. Gray probably asks to read it no less than 15 times a day!

I Stink is a story about a garbage truck. I'm not exactly sure what the allure is, but every kid I know who's read it, loves it. There are two other books in the series I'm Mighty and I'm Dirty.

Knuffle Bunny is by far my favorite children's book EVER. So is pretty much every other Mo Willems book, but Knuffle Bunny takes the cake. There are three book in the series, and we usually have to read them all once we get started. I still get teary at the end of book three!

I have to say I will buy any and every book that Todd Parr writes. The man is a genius when it comes to explaining "big" things to children in a way they can easily comprehend. The Family Book is forever on the top of my reading list, followed closely by The Earth Book. If you have yet to crack open this series, I say run to your local library now!

What about you all? Do you have any books your kids can't get enough of? I'd love to hear!

School Daze.

 

Today is the day I've been waiting for, the last two years. From 1-4pm this afternoon BOTH my kids will be in school. Ahhhhhh just the sound of that is so heavenly. Cue the chirping of the birds, the twinkling of the pond, the Disney fairy princess singing as she walks through the garden. This is IT! Three completely guilt free hours to myself. 

Right? 

Well, sort of. Thing one woke up this morning not too psyched on the idea of having to go to school when it is so nice out, and when I even mention school to thing two I get, "no school, mama" in return. This is always his mantra, so it's nothing new, and I know he will do great, but still, it would be really nice if everyone could just skip out the door with their backpacks and give a little wave as they cross the street to their neighborhood school. Since this is real life, and not a Disney movie, we all know things are never that easy, and even though our carpool has changed my life DRAMATICALLY, commuting to two separate schools at two separate times still has its challenges. 

However, don't think I'm going to let a little separation anxiety, and traffic hatred get me down. I already have my manicure/ pedicure booked, and I plan on sitting in the AC for three glorious hours getting pampered while I work on my book with wine okay, iced coffee in hand. I will do my best to forget the crying squishy face that Gray will give me as I walk out his classroom door, and not even think about what my 5pm commute is going to be like when I go pick up the LM. Nope, I'm not going to let any of that get me down because I have waited for this day for 750 days, so damn right I am going to enjoy it. 

For those of you going through the whole school separation thing, for the first time, I found this post to be pretty helpful, and very true from my own experience. I can tell you when the LM first started preschool at the age of 2, I was sick about walking out while he was still crying, and would often hide around the corner for a half hour until I knew he was settled. Of course, now with child number two, I've treated it like a band-aid and try to get out as soon as possible, without leaving a mark, and get as far away from the school as I can... rip that baby off! 

I realize that in 10 years I'm going to be reading this, dying for my boys to be home from school, so we can hit the beach on such a beautiful Summer day. But for today, there is nothing more exciting than the prospect of having a few guilt free hours to myself. Anyone want to join me? :)

Back in the Saddle.

Yesterday was the LM's first "real" day in school, and 56 hours later I have yet to recover. For the past few years his school day has started between 8:45-9:15, and it took us a whopping 10 minutes door to door. Now he HAS to be at school no later than 7:45 and even though his campus is less than 5 miles away, with traffic it can take up to 30+ minutes. Talk about a change in routine.

 I thought I was ready for it. I made these sweet potato muffins the night before, so I wouldn't have to worry about breakfast, and had everyones' clothes laid out. I woke up on time and instead of lazily browsing my latest Pins, I literally jumped out of bed and sprung in to action. We were out the door on time, and if it hadn't been for a last minute coffee stop that should have taken no more than "a minute" (famous last words) we would have nailed the morning run. After patting myself on the back, I very quickly realized that getting to school was only half the battle. We still had to drive back home in bumper to bumper traffic, and with a two year old in the back, who was pulled from his crib to a car seat, let's just say this was not the most pleasant of morning commutes. The worst part of it all, is that by the time we arrived back home, it was only 8:30! 

Now, I realize that if you have to be to work of somewhere else, at this time you declare #winning, but if you have nothing to do but stare in to the eyes of your cranky toddler than you are most definitely losing, and you're probably feeling very happy that you stopped for that coffee. To add insult to injury, the LM had a half day, so we turned around 3 hours later and did the whole thing all over again. When we got home at 12:30 I felt like I had already run a marathon. We had lunch, I put Gray down, and then the LM and I departed for his afternoon skate lesson which is 45 miles away. 12 hours after we left the house in the morning, we returned for dinner and baths, and let me tell you, I felt like I had been run over. Can you say OVER SCHEDULED? 

Certainly this type of commuting isn't abnormal, and I know we aren't the first or the last to have days like this, but having had things fairly easy for so long, this was most definitely a shock to the system. This morning when I looked in the rear view mirror I found exactly 14 gray hairs, and I swear they weren't there yesterday. I blame the traffic on the Mass Pike for those babies. 

Today, I woke up in a panic, thinking we had overslept, before I realized that today was a holiday, and we wouldn't have to do what had been dubbed the 'drive of death,' but I'm not sure if I can say I was relieved, because I really think we just need to do it over and over so we can get used to it. Like exercise, or sleep deprivation, or juice cleanses. Don't I make parenting sound so appealing? 

Thinking back, I do recall the beginning of every school year having its ups and downs. Coming off of a long summer, with late bedtimes, and lazy mornings, makes that alarm seem just a little bit louder than it used to be, and I'm sure by October we are going to be old hands at this. Next week our carpool is hopefully kicking in, which will make Gray one happy camper and I'm sure driving at 7 and 4, will be a lot less painful than 7 and 11, when we finally get a full day. At least I hope this will be the case. 

After yesterday, I'm starting to get a glimpse in to why people say having big kids can be more time consuming than littles. It's because all of a sudden you spend your life in the car, which means nothing else can really get done. School, sports, play dates, birthday parties... etc. We are entering a whole new realm of life, and last night you can bet I thanked my husband for my satellite radio (I have a new/old obsession with Ryan Seacrest... oh the shame) and my heated seats (which will be in full use in T-minus 3 weeks.) 

I know it's only 3 LONG short years until the boys will be in school together, and my days will again be mine, but I have a feeling that until then, we are going to be in for a lot more days like yesterday. Which means I'm going to seriously need to invest in a good coffee machine. and you can bet the whole "no Ipad on the way to school" rule has gone straight out the window. Cut to me downloading every season of Calliou and Lego Chima as a type.

Tomorrow is a new day... This time I'll be ready. I think. 

P.S. I forgot to add that in the end, the LM had an AWESOME first day of kindergarten, and the skate session of his life, so really the day goes down as a win... even if it mans I was comatose by 9:30. 

The Teacher and The Student.

 In my attempt to stay relevant to my little skate rats, you all know that I have decided to take up skateboarding. I quickly have learned that 1) my kid makes it look easy, 2) it is really hard, and 3) grown women look really really awkward when they are learning. I discovered the last one by looking at videos that the LM loves to take of me, to show me how proud he is my effort. You all are about to learn number three, for yourselves, and all I ask, is that when you see me around town, that you don't laugh at me... for too long ;). My skate career seems to just be beginning, because the LM loves skating with "skater mom" so much, I swear I will do this as long as he will let me, or until I break something. 

Here is the teacher.

... and his goofy student.

Those videos were taken a few weeks ago, and since then, the LM has again progressed with his skating. This video is from last weekend.

I tell you what, I'm afraid to see what this kid will attempt when he's 6! All I can say, is that I am NEVER trying that!

Big News! (In Our House)

 Someone lost his first tooth yesterday! In case you forgot what it is like, this is a VERY big deal for a little kid. We have been on "tooth watch" for about 2 weeks now, and much to his delight, the tooth popped out while he was in school yesterday, doing yoga. He came out of down dog, looked down, and boom! there was the tooth. Apparently, this became the talk of the school, which tickled the LM beyond. Last night the very generous tooth fairy came, and someone is 10 dollars richer today! That sweet little fairy even left some fairy dust behind, on the bills, that looks remarkably similar to spray glitter. She sure is a crafty one. ;)

Back with more later...

Prep.

 If you had asked me two years ago, where our kids would be attending school k-12, I would have undoubtedly said, "the public school around the corner." After all, this is why we chose the neighborhood that we did, and ultimately why we bought our home. We had no problem investing in a private early education, but we figured that by the time the LM was 5, he would be more than ready for  a traditional kindergarten program. It's important to point out, as well, that my husband and I are huge proponents of public school. We both were in public school k-12 (my husband actually deviated for a year in his youth, hated it, and found himself back in the local school the next year), and both went to public universities for undergraduate, and graduate school. We are the first people to say that there really isn't that much of an advantage of private over public, and as an adult, it is so obvious that where you went to school makes no difference, once you actually secure a job. 

I feel like it's important to give you that background, so you understand why it was such a difficult decision when we ultimately concluded that we would only be seeking independent schools for our children. We actually felt as though this decision was somewhat forced upon us, when the school system in our town was unwilling to consider students on an individual basis (specifically our LM) and instead relying on set policy when dealing with issues of enrollment and placement. Basically, our little dude was born 6 days prior to the Sept 1 cut off for kindergarten, on the advice of his pre-school, which he had attended for 4 years, and our observations at home, everyone was unified in the belief that he would benefit astronomically by delaying kindergarten for a year. I've learned that this is a common issue for a lot of late summer, high energy kids, and more often than not, it is boys who end up having problems, not right away but often down the line, simply due to the fact that they weren't emotionally ready to begin school when they did. When it was time to apply to kindergarten last year, we brought these concerns up to our local school contact, we were told that even though it was 6 days, under a week, the LM would have to begin kindergarten at age 5. Funny enough if he had been born in April, he would have qualified for two years of kindergarten, but since he was three moths past, they felt he was "ready" having never laid eyes on him. 

We took this news in stride, and decided that we would keep our guy in private kindergarten at his current school, hoping there he would get the preparedness he would need, and then we would move him to public school in first grade. Sounds great, right? Wrong. Turns out the lottery is only available for the entering kindergarten class. Not only would we not get to pick a top three, we basically would get whatever was left at the bottom, and in our town, everyone supports and shoots for the same 4 schools, and gone would even be the chance of him attending a school anywhere near our home, and his playmates. So much for community, right? 

This is why, last year, we made the decision that we consider looking at independent schools for our kids. Recognizing that this is, of course, a luxury to make this decision, it still wasn't one entered in to lightly. Financially, and emotionally the cost is high. We realized that there were some choices that we would need to make, simply to foot the bill, and ultimately there would be sacrifices that made in all areas of our lives. The fact that the public system refused to even consider what would be right FOR OUR OWN CHILD, and instead talked about rules and guidelines, made our decision pretty easy. Finding the right school, would prove to be more difficult.

We started our search by looking at independent schools that truly prided themselves on making the most diverse and unique student population. These were of course the most liberal schools in town, and that worked just fine for us, given our left of the left political leanings. I was very disappointed last year when we were turned down by a school that we truly fell in love with, and learned this year after applying again, that it was because our LM wasn't able to help fill their diversity quota. In short, he was a boy... and they had enough of those. 

That realization was a hard one for us. Here we were, willing to do anything to find the right "fit" for our little guy, and it seemed like almost a game, public, private, independent, blah, blah, everyone seemed to be following some sort of script, and with the competition so high for spots, I really felt so defeated. In the end, the LM stayed where he was, and his school WAS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, in delaying kindergarten. Our little guy was given a year where he could be the leader, he could mature in  his body, and he was given the time he needed to discover more about who he is, and what he likes. Oh, and he found skateboarding, which has done more for his focus and maturity, than any school could .

Which brings us to this year. This year, having already decided that we were only going to apply to independent schools, we decided to cast a wide net, and not be limited by the overwhelming amount of applications, interviews, follow-up interviews, group interviews, and really commit to finding a school that we thought would be the right fit for our kids. Along with the trio of liberal leaning schools we had heard about, we also looked at a few all boys schools in the area. I know, I know, this is the opposite of diverse and liberal, but after hearing this talk a few years back, from Michael Thompson (the guru) I felt as though we owed it to our boys to have a look. I'm sure you all know where this is going. 

Much to my surprise, when it came down to decision time, there I was, pacing the floor during our romantic vacation, hoping that one of the two, all boys, jacket and tie required schools, would be accepting our little skater dude, with parents that verge on hippies with no religious affiliation. We got both our first choices, and funny enough, the schools that we actually were accepted to, were the ones that are the more conservative boys schools, and not the more liberal leaning ones, that we felt were the most like "us." It just goes to show, you never know what you are going to be drawn too, and unlike last year where we felt like no one was going to be able to give our child the education he deserved. This year, we feel 100% confident that our little guy is going to be starting his education, in the most perfect place for him.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Jacket, tie... how is that going to work for a kid who likes to skate, paint his fingernails, and has more swag than his father and I combined? After letting him pick through a box of clothes I got for him during crew cuts big sale last week, let's just say I'm not concerned in the slightest.

Behold Little Man 2.0

I know kindergarten is just the tip of the iceberg, but I can't tell you what a relief it is, that my little guy is going to be in a place, that we all love, that loved him back, for the next 10 years. I am so glad that we stuck it out, focusing solely on what is best for our child, ignoring what everyone else thought would work for him. Through this whole process, my husband and I were given our own, unexpected education, regarding being and advocate for your child, and standing strong in the knowledge that you know your kid better than anyone else.

P.S. Here he is on his first day of school, age 2. I can't believe it, but even then he was wearing his beloved vans! I guess he was destined to be a skater boy!

A Family Affair.

As promised, here are some pictures from our annual apple picking excursion. I think this is the first time that the four of us spent the entire day together, and I have to say I really liked it. Until now, it's been divide and conquer around here, and Gray's morning nap has kept us from straying to far from home. As of  Tuesday, he is officially a one nap a day kid (which is happy/ sad at the same time) so I expect there will be a lot more weekends like the last, filled with quality family time, and a few meltdowns to keep us on our toes. These three boys really do have my heart, you can see why.

(A serious talk with his love. They seem to be 5 going on 15!)

 

I Can't Believe I Am Actually About to Write the Following.

 I Can't Believe I Am Actually About to Write the Following.

gulp.

Okay, so we are thinking about getting the LM Guinea Pigs for Christmas. Actually, Santa is currently mulling over this proposition. I kind of think we have to. The kid is OBSESSED with animals, and has been asking for years to get a cat. Then a dog. Then a cat. 

I cannot deal with a litter box ever again. I also cannot go out in sub-zero temperatures to pick up poop. 

Basically the poop is what will forever keep us from getting a cat or dog. The "real" reason will be that it's not fair given our small(ish) living quarters.

 Really, it's the poop.

Back to the Guinea Pigs.

 The LM has one in his class this year, and he is pretty much the kid who does nothing else but stare at the Guinea Pig all day. He loves her. He draws pictures of her. He asked me the other day "if he was really responsible for a long time (days in his mind) would we think about letting him have one?"I said we would talk to daddy about it. Daddy always says no to any pet, so I figured we were safe. Daddy, had a moment of weakness and said "maybe for Christmas."

To a kid that means yes. So, yes, we are getting Guinea Pigs. (plural)

 Now the LM is on his A game and has been on his A game every day since this conversation. I keep waiting for him to mess up so I can yank the Guinea Pig card, but the kid has started 1) asking to watch his brother, 2) clearing his dishes, 3) going down to bed with out any questions, 4) eating everything... by himself. Basically, he's been a dream. A dream, because he wants to show me he's responsible.

Yep, we are getting Guinea Pigs. (plural)

So, here is where I need your help. How gross are they? They will live in the LM's room, what kind of smells should I expect? Are they nice? Do they love companionship? Will I be playing with them while the kids are in school? Will they bite? What do they eat? In real terms, not "this is what they should eat." 

Most importantly, how much poop will I have to clean?

 From what I've read, if you have one, you should have two (hence the plural) and that they both should be female. This is it. This is why I need some advice!!!!

Also, if you've had them and it was the worst thing that ever happened to you... please feel free to share. PLEASE feel free to share.

This whole thing isn't a done deal yet, but I am finding it hard to have a firm line in the animal department when I am dealing with this.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure his world is about to be rocked Christmas morning.

Gah.

P.S. He wants to name them Phineas and Ferb. #ijustcantsayno

The First, Last Day.

 Today was the LM's last day of his 3rd year of pre-school. It dawned on me last night, that this was actually his first, last day of school. Like clockwork, in the years prior, the kid would wake up really sick on the morning of his final day.I always felt so bad for him, thinking he was missing all kinds of activities, and goodbyes. Well, I learned to today, that we really weren't missing much; just a really sad day.

I know we are going back to the school next year (thereby delaying kindergarten another year) but today really felt like the end of an era. Most of his close friends will be going off to other schools next year, and for the first time I really connected with his teachers, as did the LM. I can only imagine that these type of goodbyes are going to get harder and harder as he continues to make more connections as he gets older, and I suppose I am going to have to find way to detach myself a little more successfully than I did today. 

On the way home, when I asked him if he was sad about leaving school, he said, "not really, I'm going to see my friends again, and next year I will see my teachers when I go to the bathroom, so it's okay. But really, Gray is my best friend and he's always home, so I don't have to say goodbye to him ever."

Damn straight kid. Damn straight. 

I'm thinking next year it would be nice to skip the last day, again. Clearly, I'm not very good at goodbyes. Lucky for me, my 4 year old seems to always say the right thing, at the right time.  

I Could Get Used To This.

Yesterday, when I picked my Little Man up from school he said the following:

I'm sorry sometimes I was crying. I just really frustrated and mad because I get tired from school. 

Um, frustrated.... mad.... tired?

What, no screaming, no emotional breakdowns, no bi-polar fits on the floor. Are we actually, dare I say, communicating? As in, is he ACTUALLY expressing his emotions in thoughtful and calm manner? Are there pigs flying outside? Did I just die and go to heaven?

If this is how things go when they turn 3 then I may have to re-think my two child policy. It's too bad tomorrow we will probably be back to where we were last week.

Is it wrong that I would really like to adopt a 4 year old?

Actually communicating with my child..... I could get used to this.

My Stuff(es).

Lately my Little Man has become obsessively attached to a large pile of treasures (err crap) that he refers to as "my stuffes." Everywhere we go, "my stuffes" has to go with us. We eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with it sitting on the table next to us. It sits on the floor while he takes a bath, and when we leave the house a backpack full of his "stuffes" is usually hoisted over my shoulder. I have to be honest, while I will happily carry his booty everywhere we go, I really haven't taken the time to look at what his "stuffes" actually consists of.

Well, that was until last night.

Last night after I put him to bed I decided to take a peek at what was so important to my little man that it could never leave his side. At first glance this stuffes looked like your usual pile of kiddie junk, but upon closer inspection I found that some of his stuffes actually consisted of some of my stuff(es). Admittedly, I was halfway amused, and halfway horrified.

You can be the judge of which is the appropriate reaction.

Contents that I expected to find included:

• The Woody and Buzz he just got for his 3rd birthday.
• The entire Potato Head family, including all attachments and accessories.
• Some of the missing trees from his train table (yes, I am the mother that glued all of the parts to the table, apparently that did not stop him from pulling them off.)
• A couple of trains that he has found on the street over the last few months (of course he wouldn't like the ones that I actually purchased for him... that would be too easy!)

What I did not expect to find, and actually have been looking everywhere for are:

• A tape measure.
• A screwdriver.
• A wine opener.

Beyond the fact that these things are somewhat dangerous to my Little Man, and my furniture, I also learned another important lesson:

No more home improvement projects with my little helper, or more so no more drinking while doing home improvement projects with my little man. 

This morning he was pretty upset when he noticed some of his stuffes were missing. I broke down and gave him the tape measure back, and a "play" screw driver in lieu of the real deal.

The wine opener? Nope, that one is right back where it belongs. Could you imagine explaining that one to a stranger?

Note to self: Re-instal the broken safety locks in the kitchen.

Three Going On Thirteen.

Scene: Today at the Children's Museum.

Me: (sniff sniff) What's that smell?
LM: Nothing. I didn't poo poo.

Me: Are you sure about that? (obviously he had just dropped a steamer in his diaper.)
LM: Yes, I no poo poo... just don't check my diaper.

Me: Hmmmmm I think you might have gone, we need to go downstairs and change you.
LM: Mom.... just CHILL OUT, I'm playing here, OKAY.

Me: Really? Because I think you need a diaper change. (don't laugh... try not to laugh, was all that was running through my head.)
LM: This is so annoying.... followed by (wait for it......) an EYE ROLL!

Chill out? Okay? Eye Roll?

So basically my almost three year old little boy went to bed and, what, woke up as a teenage girl????

I've seen the movie Big one too many times..... this never ends well.

  

Conversations With My 3 Year Old.

Ever wonder what it is like to converse with a 3 year old?

No, I didn't think so, but since I spend every minute of my day talking to one, I'm going to tell you anyway. Usually, our conversations are equal parts adorable and frustrating, but now that the little man is in his "curious stage" they are mostly just annoying. I know this does not qualify me for mother of the year, but I'm just wondering why it is that we push so hard for these little guys to actually talk? Wouldn't silence (for even one minute) just be so damn nice?

All kidding aside, sometimes I seriously think I must be losing my mind. Need an example? Here is a snippet of this morning's conversation.

LM: Mommy, where this ouchie come from? (said while pointing to a 4 day old scab on his knee.)
Me: I'm not sure, maybe the park.
LM: No!
Me: Okay, maybe the gym.
LM: No, it came from (inaudible)
Me: What did you say?
LM: (clearly frustrated) Its come from (inaudible)
Me: Dude where?
LM: It came from a yellypish!
Me: A jellyfish?
LM: Yeah.
Me: Um, okay. (I can assure you it did not come from a jellyfish)

3 seconds later

LM: Where do yellypish come from?
Me: The ocean.
LM: Where does the ocean come from? (clearly concerned)
Me: Um..... the ocean comes from the earth.
LM: Whhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Me: I don't know it just does.
LM: WHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!
Me: The ocean is part of the earth, it just is.
LM: NO! It comes from airplanes.
Me: Yeah, whatever. (deep breath)

3 seconds later

LM: Where does airplanes come from.
Me: The sky.
LM: Where the people on airplanes come from.
Me: They come from their houses.
LM: Whhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:?
Me: Because they need to go somewhere.
LM: Wwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Me: Because people need to go somewhere sometimes so they go on the airplane, just like you do when we visit grandpa.
LM: Oh.

3 seconds later.

LM: Mommy, where this ouchie come from? (said while pointing to a 4 day old scab on his knee.)
Me: I think it came from a jelly fish, right bud?
LM: No!!!! It come from the park.
Me: Okay.... that's what I thought.

1 second later.

LM: Momma, where the park come from?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I tell you, this kid is lucky he's so damn cute. No really, how do you debate reasoning like that? I'm pretty sure the answer is you don't. Any of you Moms (or Dads) out there want to tell me this is just a phase.

It's okay to lie.

Really.

About Last Night.

My Little Man has recently discovered the concept of time. Before this development time only meant what we were doing at that EXACT moment, and if it wasn't something he liked he would basically lose his mind (okay, his shit too) until I assured him that "later" we would be doing something that he actually did like. For the past few weeks, however, he has begun to ask questions like, "where I going," and "where I go first?" This has morphed into, "I go swimming later," or "later you get me from school." This understanding of time has allowed for a little more explanation from my end, and a lot less temper tantrums from his (thank you sweet baby Jesus.) All was going swimmingly until he somehow got hooked on the concept of "last night." Basically, in his little mind, there now are two (and only two) times; right now and last night.

"Last night" as in:

"Mommy, I go Costa Rica last night." (yes, except this is happening 2 weeks from today.)

or

"Mommy, I paint chalkboard wall last night." (we did this, but few weeks ago.)

or

"Mommy, you go bye bye last night." (yeah mommy went bye bye, except that was last weekend.)

or

"Mommy, you told me "no, no, no" last night." (okay, he's got me there but given that this is pretty much a certainty I'm convinced that he is not recalling a true memory from the night before.)

All of this "last night" stuff was pretty cute, and I never really gave any thought to it. I knew what he was talking about, so I figured what's the harm? That was until I got the this phone call Tuesday afternoon:

"Hello, Mrs. YM, this is Miss X from X nursery school. I was just calling to remind you that we have a 48 hour sick policy, meaning that children are not supposed to be brought to school until 48 hours after any illness."

Um, okay? I thought to myself, wondering that the hell this woman was talking about. The last time my little man was sick was late April.

"Well you see, she continued, the LM was just telling the class that last night he was puking all over his crib, and I understand that he looks fine today, but you know he could still be contagious."

Last night? I began to rack my brain. He wasn't puking last night. What is she talking about? Then a bell went off, "OH you mean "last night, last night." "Yeah, that was a month ago pay no attention."

She completely understood and apologized for the call. I appreciated their effort to keep germs out of the school, and the little man went on with his day not knowing the confusion that he had caused. No harm, no foul.

So in the end "last night" got us into a little bit of trouble, but it taught me one very big lesson; anything and EVERYTHING I've ever done (or said) in front of the Little Man will absolutely come back to bite me in the ass, and whatever it is, it happened LAST NIGHT.

Who Stole The Cookie From The Cookie Jar?

Chances are it was my Little Man. Do you know how I know? Because he told me. Because nowadays he always tells me when he has done something wrong (and sometimes even when he hasn't.) Given that he is a VERY curious two year old boy, this is happening all the time.

Lately, our days have been going something like this:

Me: LM I'm going downstairs to grab something, whatever you do don't (insert one of 100 things here)  ________.

2 minutes later.

LM: Momma, I did ________.
Me: Didn't I tell you not to do that.
LM: Yeah. I need time out.

or

LM: I just pushed that boy.
Me: Why did you do that. We need to go say you are sorry and see if he is okay.
LM: I'm sorry. I go home now.

or

Me: No treats before lunch.
LM: Momma!!! I climbed up and got a treat.
Me: You are not supposed to to do that!
LM: Yeah, you throw them away.

or

CRASH!!!!!

LM: I broke ______.
Me: What happened!?!?
LM: Yeah, I'm in trouble. I sorry.


See a pattern here?

Seriously, what am I supposed to do with this? He clearly knows right from wrong. He has absolutely NO desire to try to hide the fact that he broke one of the house rules, nor is he celebrating the fact that he did so. He is basically just breaking the rule and then self punishing. He looks so damn cute when he is atoning that I have to use all of my willpower not to scoop him up and forgive him on the spot. Most of the time the rule that he has broken is so small that I normally wouldn't give him more than a stern scolding, but he has become one tough jail keeper. I find myself having to hide my laughter when he imposes a much harsher punishment that I would ever give him, and I have to wonder where he comes up with some of these things.

To make matters worse, this brutal honesty has even gone beyond his own acts. If we drive by a broken window, or some graffiti, he will tell me that he did that or broke that and that he is sorry. I sometimes have to wonder if he is serious, but most of the time he is pretty convincing. Today, he saw a building that was being torn down and he told me he "broke it." I assured him that he could not so that much damage (I think) and he seemed to get the idea that he is not responsible for EVERY act of mischief in the entire world.

So if there is any question who stole the cookie from the cookie jar, I can bey you that it was my little man. Even if it wasn't he'll still be ready to take the fall. Hmmmmmm I wonder if he'd take credit for some of those charges on the credit card bill. I may have to work on that one.