No Sing Momma!

"No sing Momma!" This phrase must come out of my child's mouth about a dozen times a day. Here's the thing.

1. I am probably the world's worst singer. Not only am I completely tone deaf but I also often sing the wrong words to most songs (am I the only one who thought that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's mother?) Think Cameron Diaz in My Best Friends Wedding, and I am about 10 times worse. Yeah, that bad.
2. I love to sing. I sing all the time. Listening to my ipod, at home, in the car, at the park. Of course this is mostly done when no one is around because a) that would scare all the small children off and b) I really am that bad.

My only fan? Well up until about 2 months ago it was my Little Man. My how the mighty have fallen. See now every time I even attempt to sing I get shut down. Immediately. No sooner does the first note leave my lips and my little man is all over me yelling, "No sing Momma." Um, I hate to tell you my friend, you used to love it when your mommy sang to you. Especially at 2 am (and 3, and 4, and 5.)

Geesh, I guess everyone is a critic. I wonder if Madonna had to put up with this.

Hi- Lo. Thanksgiving Edition.

In a nutshell the following were the highs and lows from Thanksgiving (not necessarily in the following order.)

Highs

1. Food. Just when I thought I couldn't eat any more somehow I would. Turkey, turkey, turkey.... I now dream of turkey. Oh and pecan pie. I LOVE pecan pie.
2. Uncle Chet's spiked egg nog. This started as a serious high, but soon landed me in the low column.
3. This was by far the best trip we ever took the Little Man on. He was great on the plane, great on the drive, and amazing at his great grandma's house. No whining, no clinging to mom, no tears. I think he is finally at the age where he can be flexible enough to again join us on our adventures. I spent all day yesterday scheduling trips for us before baby number two comes. Disney World in February, back to California in March and then a family trip to Columbia (the country not the school) in July. Throw in our trip to Fiji in January and a possibly trip to India in April (for mom and dad only) and we are looking at a very busy next few months. The only thing slowing us down is the need to be here fore the IVF. Now I am really pulling for success in the first two months. Please, please, please, please.
4. I finally saw New Moon. Even though it had only been out a week I was starting to feel as though I was the only super fan who had yet to see it. The movie? Not bad. Edward? So worth sitting though all the werewolf bs just to see him. Swoon.
5. Family, family, and more family. I love my Husband's family; all 30 of them. Add in the fact that one of my very best friends is my sister-in-law and I had a great time seeing everyone. My sister-in-law and I also found a way to get into some trouble, mostly due to the egg nog. Hey, at this point it is tradition!
6. I was able to pass on my love of Monopoly to the next generation. I am super/ hyper/ insanely competitive. No game allows me to be nastier than Monopoly. Not only did I get in some adult time, but I also brought the Jr. version for my Husband's little cousins. For 6 and 8 year old little girls they turned out to be quite the little sharks. I have never been happier to lose a game, repeatedly.
7. Coming home. I love walking in my house after a trip. Love sleeping in my own bed, eating my own food, and just being in my own space. I think sometimes you have to leave to appreciate what you have when you get back.
8. We can FINALLY start talking incessantly about Christmas aka "The most wonderful time of the year!" This year the gift giving is going to be small at best which means I can focus on the things I love the most: decorating the house and tree, making cookies, listening to christmas music, and watching movies re all things Christmas. Yes, I am an addict. No, I don't care.

Lows

1. The food! Between the pastries, pies, and potatoes I ate way to much junk. I'm not one for cleanses but I seriously feel like I need to detox. Starting today, fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and no alcohol until my upcoming girls weekend starting Friday where the food/ alcohol cycle will begin again. That and yoga, yoga, yoga, yoga, yoga.
2. Oh the egg nog. Man that stuff will really sneak up on you. There I was having a conversation, playing some monopoly, and drinking lots and lots of egg nog. Next thing I knew I was "sleeping" aka passed out on the kitchen table. After a 20 minute power nap I was able to rebound, but not before everyone saw me "sleeping." Lucky for me my sister-in-law was in the same boat. Whew.
3. Sleeping with a two year old blows. I can't believe people do this by choice. He squirms all night, and wakes up more than anyone should. Not only that but he talks in his sleep (he definitely got that one from mom.) 3am he would yell out "juice box" or "fire truck." If I wasn't so damn tired it would have been really funny, but at 3 am not so much. Add in the fact he had a pretty nasty cough and not a lot of solid sleep was had by either of us.

As you can see the highs greatly outweighed the lows. I love this time of the year and am very grateful to be a part of such an amazing family. I hope you all had an equally fantastic Thanksgiving. Take it from me this holiday season....... stay away from the egg nog!

The Land That Bill Gates Forgot.

Tomorrow we embark on our annual Thanksgiving trip down to Snow Hill, Maryland for 4 days filled with family, food, and quite a bit of wine (yay!) I always love this time of year, mostly because on Friday we can finally start the Christmas countdown, but also because I love the idea of everyone, everywhere (in America) taking the time out of their busy lives to spend time with family thinking about what they are grateful for.

This year I'd have to say that I am most thankful for my friends, old and new, virtual and "real." Those who are tied to me by blood, and those who stay with me by choice. The ones who I see every day, and those who I see once a decade. My mommy friends and my childless friends who have truly been there for me this year. I feel very blessed to have such amazing men and women in my life and I honestly don't know where I would be without them.

So I will be raising a glass to all of you this year. Maybe two, three, four. Thank you all for standing by me and thank you for being such an amazing group of people. I consider myself very very lucky to know you.

I will be back on Saturday, and back to blogging Sunday. Snow Hill has everything a girl could need, everything except a reliable internet connection. Yep, it seems to be the land that Bill Gates forgot. Of course I can't go too long without you all so I will still be on Twitter and Facebook. If you are not yet a fan, you can click here.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

I'm Not Sharing.

Houston we have a problem. Just as I was starting to kick some ass on my novel my little man has found a new favorite "toy." What is it you ask? Of course, it's Mommy's computer. See I made the mistake one rainy day of showing him sesamestreet.org and disney.com and now he wants to play these games with me all the time.

Last night my husband came home and the following conversation occurred:

Me: The little man needs a computer for Christmas, preferably a MacBook.

Him: You are crazy.

Me: But he keeps wanting to play on my computer all the time.

Him: So let him.

Me: But it's mine.

Him: You sound like a two year old.

Me: But it's mine!

Him: Aren't we supposed to be teaching him how to share?

Me: Yeah, well, I'm not sharing (insert pout here.)

Him: I bought you that computer so "technically" it's mine.

Me: Crap, you got me there.

Okay, okay I'll share a little bit, but soon we are going to have to have a throw down, UFC style. I know I'm bigger but that boy doesn't fight fair.... he's been know to use his teeth more than once. Round one, Little Man. Round Two? This one is going to be mine... I'm the only one who knows where the cookies are hiding.

The Mad Hatter.

Ever since my new Us Weekly arrived in the mail on Friday (yes, I am a long time subscriber, please don't judge) I have been obsessed with this hat that Jennifer Aniston has been rocking down in Mexico. Obsessed. I know what you are thinking, it's winter and where could I possibly wear a straw fedora? Normally you would be correct, this would be a completely frivolous purchase. But not this time. The fact is that I need this hat because in about 55 days the husband and I are leaving freezing cold New England for the beautiful sandy beaches of Tavarua, Fiji for 11 blissful LM free days! I know, pinch me I must be dreaming.

Fiji? As in Fiji? As in blue water, cabanas on the sea, cocktails whenever I want (unless of course we are lucky enough to hit the IVF on the first try.) Not only is it a dream come true for me, it is a much needed break for us. No work, no screaming 2 year old, no fertility treatments, no stress. The best part is that my AMAZING mother and father-in-law are coming to watch the LM. They were the same guardian angels that took suck good care of the little guy when we were in Maui last year. This leaves me feeling completely relaxed and so excited I kind of feel like I am going to jump out of my skin when I think about it.

Which brings me back to the hat. I need to prepare for this trip in very small steps, this way I will actually live until the end of January rather than dying of excitement. The first step? Sun protection. I MUST find this hat.

I say must, meaning that I already sort of did. I'm pretty sure this hat below is almost exactly like the one Jen is wearing in the picture. The problem is that it is 300 dollars. No, not pesos, dollars. Yeah, even I think that is crazy.

Since I don't plan on getting 20 million dollars for my next movie (which really is such a shame,) I went in search of a knockoff. This one may do the trick and for 30 dollars with free shipping and returns it can't hurt to try.

I still can't believe that we are actually going to Fiji. It really is like the planets aligned and whether I am pregnant or not we are going to have one kick ass adventure. Okay, I have to stop talking about it now or I may explode.

55 more days, 55 more days.........

The Kid's Table.

I always loved the idea of a kids table during the holidays. A place where you can fool around and not be sssshhhheedd by all the adults. Let's be honest after a few glasses of wine with my sister-in-law we too may be better suited for a more play minded table. As our families grow I figure soon the "kids table" will be a necessity and I have yet to find one that is more kid worthy than this one.

Source

I think this table is absolutely adorable. So cute, so easy, so cheap, and it looks like a lot more fun than any adult table I have ever seen. I've been known to not only dance on a few tables, but color on them as well, so I must say I'm a sucker for the crayons at the table. Next year I guess I'd just have to make sure that there is enough room for this kid!

I Can't Say They Didn't Warn Me.

I must admit that I rarely look at the age range when buying my little man a new toy. Small parts? Yes. Breakable pieces? Yes. Age appropriateness? Never. I always just figured those were just "guidelines." Yeah, well they're not.

A few months back a bought my little man a few wooden puzzles. He is very into letters and trucks and these puzzles incorporated those two loves. The puzzles said they were geared towards children 3 and up, and I must say I was a bit confused as to why. They are just puzzles, right?

Over the past few weeks I have answered my own question. The reason that they are for kids 3 and up is because ONLY kids who are three and up can put them back together. I can't say they didn't warm me.

My little man's favorite new game is to wake up and the first thing he wants to do in the morning is take apart every single puzzle. He then yells for me to put them back together. Then he takes them apart, yells for me.... vicious cycle. Needless to say I have become an expert at kid's puzzles, and my little man, well, he has learned how to make a really big mess really really fast.

I'm not quite sure that is what the manufacturer had in mind.

*And before any of you ask, yes that is a morning bottle my kid is holding. No, I didn't take it away when he turned two. Yes, I am TOTALLY weak. They are being thrown away next week when we go back to Maryland. I swear. I know I am a such a wimp.

Taking a Month Off.

I realize I haven't posted much recently regarding our ongoing fertility issues, but a few of you have sent me emails asking what's happening so I figured I would give you all an update. No, I am not pregnant and I thank all of you for the adorable emails from those of you who thought my lack of silence meant that I was. The reason I haven't written anything, is because nothing really has been going on. In short, we are taking a month off. Trust me, after all this you will be one of the first to know when I actually do finally conceive. You've gone this far with me, we're not stopping now.

A few weeks ago both my husband and I went through our final round of testing. As expected his results turned out normal, and not as expected, so did mine. There is no blockage, no thyroid, no hormonal issues. Nothing. This diagnosis was equally as hopeful as it was frustrating. I had my final sit down with the doc and the answer was pretty much the same, there is nothing really wrong, but it could take a few years of trying on our own to conceive again. There is no guarantee that once I go off the Clomid I will continue to cycle regularly and this would lead to a more increased risk of miscarriage, thus more trouble getting pregnant. The stress of that and the continued "trying" is more than we can take and our Dr. has suggested that we go forward with the more aggressive treatments.

We had planned on starting right away, but given that we are leaving for Thanksgiving and will be unable to stay in town continually for the next month we were forced to take a month off. I see this as a Godsend of sorts. Almost like a cleanse. I have one month where I don't even have to think about getting pregnant. No ultrasounds, no drugs, no sticks, no disappointing pregnancy test results, no crazy mood swings. None of it.

I plan on spending the holidays drinking wine, eating sushi, and I even snuck in a girl's weekend. One last hurrah we'll call it. Then in December we will begin our treatments. When I sat down with the nurse I was actually a bit shocked at how time consuming this all is going to be. I'm not concerned about my time, I have plenty of that. What is concerning is what I am going to do with the LM. Basically once we start the injections I will be having to go to the Dr. at least once a day for a few weeks for blood tests and ultrasounds, than when it is time for the insemination for two days in a row I have to be there at an exact time and depending on how many eggs there are we may have to do emergency IVF surgery with little or no notice. All these times and dates are completely dependent on my body and can't be scheduled in advance. This makes arranging childcare for my active LM virtually impossible. We have no family nearby, so we are going to have to rely heavily on our friends and sometimes I will have to bring the little guy with me. It's not ideal, but we don't see any other choice. Hopefully we will only have to do one or two months, this is what I'm crossing my fingers for.

I spent the last week feeling pretty frustrated. I fell back into that whole, "I'm only 30, we had no problems with the LM, why is this happening," feeling sorry for myself kind of place. I quickly snapped out of it. I have the LM, insurance is covering everything, if this is what it takes than this is what it takes. I consider myself to be very luck and if this is our journey so be it. At this point it is out of my hands.

I did come to a pretty big decision as well. My husband doesn't see it as quite as big (as it was always his plan) but for me it took a while to get there. This is it for us. I will do whatever it takes to have this next baby(s) but after that, no more. I refuse to go though this a third time, and there is no way I could fathom doing this with two or three children in tow. While I was always on the fence about baby number three (assuming I could convince the husband) I am on it no more. If we can have one more, than we are very, very lucky and there is no reason to add any more stress to our lives. A big family would be great, but it is just not in the cards for me.

So that's the update. I'll talk more when we actually begin the process. Again I thank all of you for your support and your emails. I'm looking forward to a nice relaxing month.

UPDATE:

A few minutes after I published this post, next month's drugs arrived in the mail. There must be 4 different kinds and there are just so many of them, all injections. I will not cry, this is all worth it. I will not cry, this is all worth it. I will not cry, this is all worth it.... I guess I forgot how much I hate needles.

Dear Santa (from Mom).

How cool are these? I was planning on painting a chalkboard wall in my little man's room and possibly getting him a art table for Christmas, but after seeing these I'm thinking why waste all that space (and money?) Besides the cork board one is perfect for all of those new school projects that are piling up on my refrigerator. I'm just glad that I am still the one who gets to write out the little man's wish list. Dear Santa.....

These are made by Pottery Barn Kids and can be found here.

Oh, That's All?

According to a trainer at my gym there is only one thing standing in between me and this body. Ummmmm.....sign me up!

A few weeks back I had to miss my usual spin class due to a doctor's appointment so I was forced to use the gym equipment. Other than the treadmill I hate all gym equipment (including weights). I never feel as though I get that great of a workout and the truth is that I'm a bit scared of some of those crazy contraptions. This is why I stick to yoga, spin, and running. Only yoga, spin, and running. Sensing my dismay a trainer approached me and asked if I needed any help. "Yes!" was my immediate reply. When he asked what my goals were I simply told him, "by the time I am 40 I want my body to look exactly like Jennifer Aniston's did on the cover of this Summer's GQ. "Oh, is that all?" he sarcastically replied. "Yep, that's my goal, I have 10 years and one more baby to make it happen," I matter-of-factly told him. He said there was only ONE thing standing in the way of me and that butt. One torturous, painful, and demonic thing. The stairmaster. Not just any stairmaster, the giant stairmaster on crack.

Doesn't look that painful? Try climbing 2oo flights on it in about 30 minutes. Ouch! I have worked this into my Monday routine, and let me tell you that on Sunday I still am in pain. Legs, butt, abs, you name it I feel as though it has been hit by a truck. Hey, that just means it's working right?

Jennifer you better watch out...I'm coming for you!

The Art of The Trench.

There is no material possession that I own that I love more than my Burberry Trench Coat. I must admit I love it just as much today as I did the day I picked it up. Actually I love it more. The black has slightly faded now and it has that "worn" look. This may have been the best purchase I have ever made considering that I literally wear it from September to May, every single day. Given that I love my trench so much, imagine how excited I was to find The Art of The Trench. A project that combined the undeniable talent of the The Sartorialist with people from all over the world on the street wearing their Burberry coats. There are over 100 pictures and I could seriously get lost in them all. I'm happy to see that I am not the only one who adores this style statement. Happy browsing!

The Next Jonathan Adler?

I've inadvertently created a monster. A monster that is more than slightly obsessed with home design. Yes, my son very well may be the next Jonathan Adler. I kid you not. It all started when we got the new rug in the living room. My little man loved to lay on it and would run in and rub the "new rug" every time he had the chance. The next room on my makeover list was his, and this week his new rug came as well. I knew he would be excited, but I did not expect him to be that excited. All he has talked about for 3 days is the new rug. He tells everyone about it. Everyone. We have spent countless hours sitting on it, lying on it, jumping on it, putting every toy imaginable on it. In short, he loves it.

I figured that this was just a stage that would pass and soon the novelty of the newness would wear off. I though that until last night. There I was making dinner and I heard him talking about rugs. Not only rugs but lamps, curtains, and home accessories as well. I peeped around the corner wondering where he was getting this from, and I saw this.

There he was reading the Pottery Barn Kids catalog that had come in the box with the new rug. He had found his new treasure on one of the pages and was now accessorizing his room. No joke. It must have been the funniest thing I have ever seen. I sat down with him and we went through the catalog from front to back and back to front for almost an hour. This morning we did the same thing again. I literally had to tear him away so we could leave the house.

I am more than slightly concerned about Christmas. What the little man doesn't know is that I have already ordered him a few chairs and bean bags in an attempt to recreate this playroom. The rug was only the beginning. Next comes bookshelves and a chalkboard wall. I'm not quite sure what the little man is going to do when he sees the pages of the catalog come to life right before his very eyes. He may go on quite the decorating bender.

I suppose when he is the head of some worldwide interior design company we will all sit back and have a good laugh at this. For now, well, I better go find some more catalogs.

Of Course My Kid Would Want To Do That.

They are doing a bit of construction on a sidewalk down the street from our house. Construction that is adjacent to his "home" park. Construction which most kids walk by without a second glance. My kid? He is not one of those kids. No, after days of fighting it (and insuring that there were no lose nails, glass, etc...) my kids now plays in the construction zone. ONLY in the construction zone. Yeah, of course my kid would want to do that.

You don't believe me? Ahhhh you know me, I always come with proof.

Yeah, I'm not quite sure what to say either.

The Perfect Dress.

Yesterday I found the PERFECT dress. My missing half. It's just like they say, you always find that special someone when you aren't actively looking. Well, I definitely wasn't looking. I was sick, tired, and had a half hour to kill before I had to pick up my little man at school. I was looking pretty bad and feeling even worse.

For a few weeks I have been on the hunt for a pair of skinny black tuxedo pants and although I thought twice about it I went into my new favorite boutique Dress hoping to score a pair. The minute I walked in the door our eyes met. I tried to play hard to get and began my search for the pants, but it just kept drawing me across the room over to it; the perfect dress. It definitely was lust at first sight, but with a hefty price tag I tried to resist. I really did. I even walked out the door. Our eyes met as I was exiting and I thought, what the hell I might as well try it on.

To my dismay it was even more perfect on than off. Seriously, I think they made this dress to fit my body. My lust turned to love and right then and there I got down on one knee, whipped out my credit card, and decided that we would spend the rest of eternity together.

Introducing my new love:

Just like a couple who meets in Vegas and marries that evening I must admit I am having a bit of next day remorse. The dress is perfect, don't get me wrong. I literally want to wear it every minute f the day, I just don't know if it's perfect for me, for my lifestyle. When I bought it I envisioned myself wearing it on an upcoming girls weekend in Nantucket (more on this to come) but when I showed it to my bevy of beauties they said that it would be too dressy for the places that we are going. Jeans and boots, yes. Perfect brocade dress, no. Now I am at a loss as to where to wear it. I think it is the perfect holiday dress, but alas we have no holiday parties planned. Not this year anyway. Then there is the concern that eventually I will be pregnant again, and there are no guarantees that I will be able to get back to this size again, although I truly can't think of any better motivation than wearing this dress again.

My girlfriends said that we could always get dressed up ourselves and go and drink champagne so I would have a place to wear it, but is it wrong to plan a party around a dress? Don't answer that. Despite all this I am pretty set on keeping it. I think that this would be one of those things that I would instantly regret returning. You just know that someday in the near future there is going to be an event or a party (or five) and I will be kicking myself because I would never find anything as perfect as that perfect dress.

I have 9 days left to decide, but I'm pretty sure true love like this only comes around once in a lifetime. This would be so much easier if it wasn't so damn perfect. Maybe this is just life's way of telling me that I need to go out more?

To keep or not to keep, that is the question.

Really? You must be joking.

A few weeks ago Style.com informed me that clogs were the hot new trend for spring. Oh hell no I said! This week's trend? Overalls. As in overalls? As in a fashion statement circa Donna Martin from 1996? What is going on around here? I would probably sport the clog trend before leaving the house in one of these numbers.* Farmer chic? I don't think so!

*Okay, I must admit that last one is pretty cute, but I am a woman of principle and I flat out refuse to support this trend. I'm slightly afraid for spring to come if this is what we all have to look forward to.

Sick.

I never get sick. I hate getting sick. Getting sick in general sucks. Getting sick and taking care of a child sucks even more. Ugh. I started off this morning with a head cold and now I am quickly on my way to flu zone (please refrain from any reference to the swine.) Did I say Ugh?

In about 30 minutes I will hopefully be rescued by my husband and my sitter has agreed to pull the morning shift so I'm feeling pretty lucky. That means I have the next 16 hours to be sick.

After that I'm all done.

Do you hear me Swine Flu? Don't even bother.

Something's Wrong With This Picture.

Today the little man and his daddy went to the park. I met up with my motley crew about a half hour later and I couldn't help but notice that something was different about my little man.

"Where are his shoes?" I asked looking at his red bare feet.

"He can't climb in them," said my husband.

"So you took them off?"

"Yes" he said. Followed by, "and because the air is so dry I had to spit on them so he would have better traction."

"First off Ewwwwww.... Second, does it bother you at all that it is November and 40 degrees out?" I inquired.

"Doesn't seem bother him," was his response.

"And his jacket?" I said not really wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah, he didn't really want to wear that either."

Okay, fine, I give in this time, but we will have words when there is snow on the ground.

Proper Footwear.

Improper Footwear.

Something's wrong with this picture.