In The Picture.

 Those of you who are long time readers know that the LM and I spend quite a bit of solo time together.  I hate to say it, but it's  probably more than Gray and I do, strictly because I somehow became the de facto parent when it comes to athletics around here.  This means I'm the one who drives for hours, and hours, and hours to take him skiing or stating, and while most of the time I love it, there are times that it can be pretty exhausting, especially when we reach our destination and it turns out that the LM is not having it that day.  "But we just drove 2 hours, I say," shaking my hands in the air.  "Nope," is his usual response followed by a few hours of begging, cheering, and tears.  Luckily, this is not the norm, and without question my greatest memories of his childhood will always lie in some freezing cold skatepark in the middle of nowhere, or on the slopes, trying to play catch up as my 6 year old bombs down the mountain.  

A few years ago, when I was feeling a little defeated, wondering if I was more of a stage mom, than a motivator, a friend of mine whose mother had passed when he was in his teens, texted me to let me know that his greatest memory of his mother was her cheering him on and watching him skate. In that moment, that was the most beautiful thing that someone had ever told me, and it most definitely what   I have tried to focus on while driving though blizzards, sitting in traffic, and basically freezing my ass off, while plying my kid with Cheetos and Gatorade... just to keep him going.  The LM is definitely appreciative of my efforts, more so when I bring a friend of his, but until a few weeks ago I never really knew what our weekends actually meant to him.  Without knowing it, one little journal entry was the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, and since that day when talk of whether or not I should take him somewhere comes up, it is now me who quickly raises my hand and says "me, me, me"

You can click to enlarge, but it says that his dream for the future is to be a pro skater, and over to the right that's me IN the picture.  I can hardly even look at it without tearing up, and I wonder if he actually knows that me standing there in his dream future cheering him on is also MY dream for the future as well, but either way, I'm there and that's all that matters.