This year I figured I would do something hard. Something that only I would know if I was able to accomplish. Something that would really be beneficial for me, if in fact I managed to succeed at my goal. Something that needs to be worked on. Badly.
This year I will have more patience.
This mostly will apply to my kids, but in reality it needs to apply to them, and everyone else I come in contact with on a daily basis. I admit it, I am not a patient person. Not at all. When it comes to strangers, I am typically able to hide it behind a smile (and sometimes a stink eye) but in my head I am thinking of all the ways I would 1) do it differently, 2) ram into their car if I could, 3) punch them in the face, or 4) call corporate headquarters and try to bring down the wrath of the big guys on them. Of course, I wouldn't do any of these things, and instead, I am only hurting myself while wasting (valuable) energy thinking only negative and toxic thoughts, which are ultimately forgotten, as is the reason for my annoyance, some 15 minutes later.
Well, not any more.
Whether I'm in traffic, line, on hold, or working with the sllloooowwweeessstttt checkout individual on the planet, I will try, try, try, to take a deep breath, realize that this will soon be over, and dig deep down to find the patience to manage any situation with a real (or close to it) smile.
Then there are the kids.
I love my kids. My kids are my world. I live for my kids. Sometimes (often) they drive me absolutely insane. Most of the time it is my fault. Why? Because I don't have enough patience. I usually try to do way to much in a day, and then freak out when I don't get something done, or when they inevitably meltdown. Now that there are two of them, I find that the meltdowns tend to be tandem, and at the end of a long day. A basic recipe for disaster. Sometimes I can go to my happy place (i.e. a nice glass of wine, after 6pm of course) and sometimes I react (a parenting 101 no no.) This usually involves sending the LM to his room, or trying to reason with a 5 month old about why he won't eat/sleep/poop/ stop crying, both things that really benefit no one. What I need to do is take a deep breath, count to 5, and think of the picture above (I might actually frame this in my kitchen.) This man, is in fact, living my worst nightmare, and somehow seems to be keeping it together (whether it's staged or not.)
This year, I vow to remember, my kids are only young once, these are the only ones I'm going to have, and in reality, this is as hard as it's going to get (fingers crossed.) Sadly, these boys are only going to get bigger, and more distant, and one day I will long for a time when my baby is literally spitting peas in my face, while my four year old demands that I watch every single move he makes while he refuses.to.stop.talking.for.one.second.not.even.to.take.a.breath.
I realize Rome wasn't built in a day, and I can imagine that things will be easier when baby is again sleeping through the night (this will definitely be a post coming soon) but I fully recognize that this is a personality flaw that I have lived with for years, and there is no time like the present to start trying to better myself, for my kids, and for everyone I come in contact with.
Twenty Twelve... The Year Of The Patient Mum? Stranger things have happened.
(Photo via Pinterest... that poor man)
P.S. I realize I have been a bit slack here on the blog. With the kids out of school, that nasty stomach flu, and now a family cold, I just haven't found a way to keep up my momentum. This whole not sleeping thing is killing me and I've been trying to sneak in a nap when the kids go down, hence my lack of time to write. I'm hoping this soon will pass, and I'll be back to my usual bloggy/chatty self. New week I'm hoping to get up some "baby centered" posts including some of my new favorite things, and also a great giveaway from What To Expect When You're Expecting. We also have much to discuss re: the upcoming Paris trip, and of course there is winter fashions for kiddies and mums, some new recipes, and I've still been meaning to share some personal posts including our birth story, and what my hubby and I have decided about whether or not we should try to expand this little family of ours again (hint: we're not :)) Bear with me... there is still much to come!