Thursday, September 11, 2008

Payback is a bitch.

Payback is a bitch. Especially when it is done by your one year old. So, I'm not sure I mentioned this or not, but three months ago my husband got rid of my cat. Yep, he's that guy. A cat I loved. A cat we got together soon after we were married. My first baby. Did I mention I loved here?

My husband always told me he hated cats, but when we brought little Chloe' (named after the label, of course) home he totally switched. He was mildly obsessed with her. Then one day she did the unthinkable, she turned into a cat. I know, shocking right? Apparently to said husband it was. He spent the next two years telling me daily, "I like kittens, hate cats." This is a phase I thought surely my baby is safe. Not safe, so much as doomed.

Soon after the birth of our son, Steve made it his mission to hate Chloe. Hate with a burning passion. All I would hear daily was......hair (yes she had a lot, and yes it was everywhere).......clawing (damn cat would only scratch the new furniture, now matter how hard I begged her to stop).........litter (was this her fault, I mean she had to go to the bathroom somewhere?) The nail in her little coffin was when she started clawing at the bedroom door at 5:45am every morning (at this point my love was waining a bit I have to admit.) This coupled with the purchase of luxury apartment and new luxury furniture, and the writing was on the wall.

After a few failed Craig's lists posts, Steve began promising gifts to those who could find someone to take the little fur ball off our hands. He even offered my sister in law E.A. a pair of Loubuitons (I believe we still owe her a pair, oops!) and after a week she had a loving home. In another state. Is that far enough away for you sweetie?

In all honesty, she did find an amazing home for her. Chloe' now lives with a gallery owner who, how do I saw this, really really loves cats. Like really. So, one short plane ride and my little girl was happily living in a home far, far away. I was devastated of course, but this now left my husband nothing to complain about. Which we all know is an amazing thing.

The funny thing is that his son, aka his clone, now LOVES cats. I mean is obsessed to the point of being a bit psycho. He sees a cat and you would think it was a 70% off sale at Marc Jacobs (yes, they have those twice a year.) Down here in the jungle there are cats everywhere........like everywhere, and there is Steve watching as his son snuggles up to every whiskered little one. Take that I say. Poor kid is probably scarred for life. You know the lady that lives with 2 dozen cats? Yep, that's going to be our boy. Nice job honey, wonder what the therapy bill is going to be for this one?

1 comment:

Mom/Mum said...

This post made me laugh!
When my husband was merely my boyfriend, I cam home to find him and one of my beloved cats actually having a fight. Each drawing their claws in a battle for my affections. The cat won that day (her nails were sharper) but he won longterm. He had the better salary after all...

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