I was almost Heidi Montag. Seriously, I'm not crazy. Had I been born 7 years earlier, I too could have been a manufactured blond, who for some unknown reason is constantly making the cover of Us Weekly, and I could be dating the slimiest/ creepiest man on earth. Why, oh, why couldn't my parents just waited a mere 7 years to bring me into this world??????
You don't believe me? Ok, here is the story.
So, when I went back to my hometown for the wedding in July, aka when I "reclaimed my childhood" I was sitting around with a bunch of girls and The Hills came up (of course, what 20 somethingish girl does not discuss The Hills in every conversation?) Anyhoo, someone asked me if I lived in Glenwood when the Montag's lived there. "Montag, as in Heidi Montag," I shrieked. Never mind, the fact that she is the only fake celebrity that I wish dismemberment on, never mind that I wish her implants would explode (while the show was filming live, of course.) But, OMG, Heidi Montag went to my tiny elementary school in the Middle of BFE Coloroado!
Apparently, she and her sister moved to my small town very shortly after I moved away. Her mother got divorced and eventually moved to a nearby town and remarried. I too had a single mother who could have easily made this same transition. Then I could have moved to LA met LC and the rest as we know would have been reality television history.
I know! it's so crazy! I was almost Heidi Montag! Just insert my face here!
For now, I'll have to settle for my small celebrity on the blogosphere, My A cup chest, and my not so slimly husband.
Remind me to thank my parents every chance I get that I was born when I was!
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2 comments :
Eww....even after all that surgery, she still looks a little man-ish. You're definitely getting the better end of the deal, Y.M.
You jealousy is funny.
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