Only 5 Weeks? Perhaps I Should Get Started.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The little man is turning two in exactly 5 weeks. I know, I can hardly believe it myself. 

While I am over the moon excited for this milestone, I am also dreading it. Why? Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with him growing up. No, I am dreading it because in just 5 very short weeks I am going to be stripping my little man of not only his beloved babas (bottles) but also his first love, his binky

Well, maybe I'm going to take them away. The truth is I'm still very on the fence about the latter. Yep, I'm the wishy washy mom. I have just become that person.

Yes, I know he is two. It's time. The pediatrician and now his dentist are on my case about both. His teeth, his teeth, his teeth....I get it. OK, I get it!  The bottle I am OK with him giving up. Really. I am.  I have slowly been setting the stage that when we go to GiGi's (his great-grandmother's) house for his birthday we are coming home without any bottles. He seems to get it, and mentions it every time we talk about his birthday. However, I don't think he actually gets that when we get home there will be no more bottle in the morning. No more before nap, and (gasp) no more before bed. Nada, Zilch, Zero. Yeah, he really doesn't get it. 

The binky thing is what really throws me. I was a finger sucker until about 12/13 years old. Sometimes in public. That is the kind of humiliation that haunts a kid for a lifetime. This is why I pushed, pushed, pushed the binky in the first place. I have yet to see a 12 year old sucking on a passie. The problem is that he is now hooked on that too. We technically only allow him to have it in bed, but if I am being honest the thing shows up while we are home during various times of the day. It never leaves the house unless we are traveling overnight, and I really do try to be consistent about him keeping it out of his mug during the day. Try being the operative word. 

For the past few days we have instituted a new rule. Binky (and his bunny blanket) are ONLY allowed in bed. Only during nap, and only during nighttime. In 72 hours they have not left the room. This has worked pretty well for both of us. I guess my question is does he really have to give it up? Can't we just pretend like we did, and it could be our little secret?

What age did you all take away these treasured possessions? If you ever did I should say.

If you have any tips for this wimpy mom I would really appreciate it!


notSupermum said...

My eldest daughter gave up her dummies (binky) when she was 3, my younger daughter wouldn't let go until she was 5!

I think 2 is still quite young, maybe it might be an idea to wean him off them gradually? The end result will be the same, but with fewer tears (for both of you!)

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine had the binky fairy come. The binky fairies job is to take binkies from "big" kids and give them to all the new babies. It seemed to work for her.

That Girl said...

Ah YM...this is a that we put off until she was about 3 and a half. (I think you even commented on my 39 And Counting post about The Dummy Fairy!) Every little one is different and will respond to different stuff. We just talked about it (REALLY excitedly!) for about two months in advance and emphasised the whole grown up girl thing so many times. Also a good exchange gift from the fairy helped!! They understand so much and take it all in - its quite amazing. I thought it would be hell but after a couple nights of minor fussing it was fine. Just make sure you're ready to follow through with whatever strategy you have planned. And if he cries... remember he won't even remember the binky in a weeks time! Good luck xxx

Anonymous said...

Have GiGi give him a box of sippy cups to replace the bottles. He can use them just like the bottle, before naps and bed, but only if they are filled with water. Eventually you graduate to straw sippy cups and then you're pretty much at cups.

Go cold turkey on the binky. Remove them from the house entirely. Otherwise you end up using them as a negotiating tool and crutch. Pick a week when he's healthy and there is no travel or family functions. Then just gut it out.

I have two former binky junkies (now 8 and 5), but looking back I barely remember the trauma of binky detox. I just asked them if they remember the horror and they said no.

V. said...

My daughter is 2 in 1week soo im a little nervous and excited at the same time.

Its pretty hard to cut out the bottle I'm trying to but she just cries and cries and her father gives in. She doesn't use a binky though.

I was forced to give up my binky when I was around 4yrs yet my little sister gave it up around 7yrs.

Anonymous said...

I filled my son's bottles with water instead of milk and slowly, over time, he got tired of that. I never did get him to drink regular milk out of a sippy cup, though, unless there was choc powder in the milk.

As for the pacifier, I'd slowly take those away as well. Maybe take them away for naptime first? Is there something else that he could take to bed with him instead?

Anonymous said...

Try the Rubbermaid straw cups - you can get them at the Container Store. I tried the ones from Target, but they are not as good.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Hi Yummy- We just got rid of the "paci" with my 18 year old. She had always done the "only in the crib thing". Then, for about a week we talked to her about giving it to a tiny baby who really needs one and showed her a picture of her baby cousin. She would actually hold her paci up to the picture and making sucking noises. After a week of this we let her trade in her paci for a new nite nite blankie and she picked a striped sock with the toes built-in from my sock drawer (go figure)! Anyway, there are many ways to lead up to it, but ultimately it will be 3 or 4 rough nights and then he will be fine. Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

I think you are on the right track with picking one to take a way and giving a break on the other. Those are tools both you and he will need. He's only 2! We are too tough on ourselves and our kids sometimes based on what doctors or books are telling us. Just do what you think is best. Sometimes doctors give parenting advice that they aren't necessarily qualified to give. I don't always tell mine the truth just so I can avoid any lectures. He isn't my kid's parent - I am!

Jolene said...

I know how you feel... I weaned my son from the bottle at about 14 months, but I was more willing to let him keep his binky since it was a comfort to him. I was dreading the day when he'd have to give it up. But it wasn't that bad. Last month, he was really tired from a long day out and he fell asleep without his binky and stayed asleep the whole night. In the morning, I realized that he had gone the whole night without his binky so I kept it going. I just hid all his binkys. He was kinda cranky for the first couple days, but then he seemed to forget all about them. Good luck!!

Natalie said...

Oh dear the dummy ( aka pacifier -what we call it in Australia) was a love hate affair for me but boy did my first daughter love it. She would have one in her mouth and a spare in her pocket. I gave it up when she was 2. How? well she was ate that at age when she began to dislike things that were bitter so we dipped it in this very bitter promeganate syrup and she was automatically off it. She began to say 'yukky dumb dumb' everytime she asked for it. Simpler as that. In 2 days she was off it. I heard of some parents cutting the teat off.

As for the bottle she was off that at 2.5 years. She heard from my sister in law that only babies drank from the bottle so she began to refuse as she was at that ' i am big girl' stage. I kind of regret takign the bottle away as she stopped drinking as much milk. She never liked milk from the cup so we began to tell her she is having coffee... like mum and dad cause she is a 'big girl'.

Ahhhh the beauty of manipulation!!!

Anyway dont pressure yourself cause he is a certain age. When your ready then he will be ready. Best of luck!!

Anonymous said...

I stressed over this for weeks before with both my kids. Shortly after my daughter turned 2, I just decided one day I wasn't going to give it to her at bed time. Completely cold turkey. Told her that the binky fairy came to bring them to new babies. I was shocked at how easy it was. No tears or anything. I did the same with my son. He was a little more verbal and asked a lot of questions but, painless. Don't underestimate the LM. He may surprise you and just accept it. If not, you'll get through it.

Anonymous said...

I guess I must be an anomaly hearing all these mummys battling with giving up "binkys" and bottles. Both my daugthers gave up on their pacifiers at about 4-5 months....they just stopped caring about it. Beign picked up and held was their pacifier if they were in a bad mood. Bottles I removed after their one year old birthday and replaced with sippy cups...again no problem there...they were actually excited about the new sippy cups. So good luck with the process but I think it will progress better than you anticipated

Jo said...

I'm surprised no one's mentioned bribery. We weaned son down to pacifier at nite til almost 3 yrs. Then he relinquished paci in exchange for Star Wars fighter ship. Yea, we bought him off. But it worked.

Kim said...

Well, as someone who is in not position to offer advice (I don't have kids) I will just share an observation about kids I am around - they seem to follow the lead of the adults. If adults make something a big deal, the kids seem to think it's a big deal. If the adults brush it off, the kids may stew/scream for a little while, but usually move on pretty quickly.

Yummy Mummy said...

I can't thank you all enough for your advice. You really helped me to decide what to do, and you also made me feel much better by letting me know I am not the only one who has let this slide! I feel like I should throw those damn books out the window. It's so much better to hear from real people who have actually been there!

I think my plan is to let him keep the binky only in the bed for the next 6 months or so, unless I see an opportunity sooner to take it away. I will not stress about it, and I will be consistent about him keeping it in the crib.

As for the bottle. It's staying at Gigi's house. He refuses to drink milk out of a straw cup, although he will drink water out of one all day long, but I think I just need to find a special "milk cup" that he thinks makes him a big boy. I will give him a multivitamin to make up for the milk he may be missing in the beginning and I'm even willing to throw some chocolate in there if it means he keeps drinking!

I also am not above bribery, and I am determined to be bink free by the time the next baby rolls around. That means I have at least 10 months. I may be a wimp but I think I can handle that!

Thanks again everyone! You are some awesome mamas/ friends!


elizabethm said...

Think you have made a great decision here. Take it slowly, be consistent, remember he is only two. I think he will gradually give it up by himself especially if you make it clear it is a private, bed time thing, not for taking out and about into his exciting big boy life!

Polly said...

Im a wimply mum too. Ive been talking about getting rid of the dummy for about a year now. DD and I are back talking about it again, but seriously its going to turn my world upside down - do I need that right now?.......(Or ever!!) If all else fails Santa will take it at Christmas time. I hope.