Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
- 4:20- We get to airport and smoothly check in. We make it to the gate with more than enough time to spare.
- 5:15- We are having an impromptu picnic at the gate with a Starbucks fruit cup and Cheerios. Smiles all around.
- 5:30- We are on board reading books, watching cartoons in the back of the seat.
- 6:30- We split a turkey sandwich, get in are jammies and have a big bottle. Time for night night right? Wrong!
- 7:00- 20 minutes of screaming. Blood curling screaming. Red faced, OMG I can't believe this is my child screaming.
- 7:01- Projectile vomit. Everywhere. 10 ounces of bottle up. Turkey sandwich up. Fruit cup and Cheerios, you get the picture.
- 7:10- Quite the scene. Me tearing apart the car seat and cleaning vomit from every corner of the airplane with some paper towels and antibacterial wipes. Liam being held naked by angel/mother of a 3 year old who is thanking god she is not me. Man sitting next to me having disappeared into thin air to a "special" no baby seat.
- 7:30- Liam changed back into his clothes, and having another bottle. Screaming has subsided.
- 8:00- Crying again. Man in front of me comments on what I horrible mother I am to subject my child to such torture. Me biting my tongue so not to get arrested after I verbally and physically assault the asshole who clearly does not have children.
- 9:00- Still crying, both of us. Luckily his is not that loud.
- 9:30- He finally passes out.
- 9:31- Push call button and ask attendant to sit with sleeping child while I "pee."
- 9:32- Lock bathroom door. Sit on seat and cry. Loudly.
- 9:36- Back to seat = order strong drink.
- 10:00- Drink in hand watch the Hills.
- 10:30- Holy shit he's awake and crying. Pick him up and hold him like a baby.
- 10:31- He's out again.
- 11:30- We land, he wakes up smiling. Begins to smile and clap and flirt with everyone around. I continue to give stink eye to the asshole in the row in front of me.
- 1am- Arrive home. Liam is smiling and acting like nothing ever happened.
- 2am- We are both passed out. Me trying to forget the horror that had just taken place.
- 7am- Liam wakes up, smiling. Damn these kids are resilient I think to myself.
Monday, October 27, 2008
- The man has his own seat. $400 is a small price to pay to lock him down.
- I packed lightly. 1 week, I bag...for both of us! (never mind it is a huge bag)
- I bought some of those nifty wheels for the car seat. That way I can check the stroller and wheel him through the airport, rather than carry his 24lb tush.
- 2 carry ons. 1 for the Mac, one for everything else.
- Our flight is 5:30pm, and lasts 6 hours. If all goes according to plan he should be sleeping for the entire way (yes, I realize I am in complete denial and am really just fooling myself.)
- Taxi is 15 minutes late.
- Little man is still sleeping.
- Pilates class yesterday was more of an ab boot camp. Not only can I not laugh, or lift anything, breathing is also extremely difficult bordering on impossible.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Thank you for thinking that I am some pampered house wife who is working my husband to the bone while I do nothing but shop us into the poor house. After reading your post my husband also thanks you for looking out for him. However, we have decided not to take your opinion of us or our marriage to heart. I'm sorry that it bothers you do much that I am able to afford nice things, and that my husband is happy to provide said things to me. He assures me that a sweater here and there is not going to keep our son from going to college and we will not be foreclosing on our house any time soon.I am particularly impressed with your modern views that because my husband makes the money then it is his money. I guess since I raise the children they are then mine, and only mine. I know it is very hard for my loving husband to go to a job he loves from 7-5, 5 days a week. When he comes home he has his favorite vegetarian meal in the oven, his dry cleaning hung in the closet, his clothes clean and folded in his drawers, not to mention his spotless and organized home. The fridge is not only stocked with all of his organic favorites, but also his favorite beer. His bills are paid, and his savings is secure. His son home and happy, fed, waiting with open arms to go to the park for an hour with his mommy and daddy. I can only imagine how frustrating it can be then to know that his wife, god forbid, bought something that day. Something that we would have previously been discussed, and agreed upon, because Mr. Anonymous there are no secrets about spending in this marriage. No hidden credit cards. We agree on a set amount that I can spend for the month, and I do not exceed that amount. It's called a healthy marriage, and sensible financial planning Mr. Anonymous. Something that may be foreign to you.We truly thank you for taking the time to compare me to a trophy wife who simply married their husband for their money. But we assure you Mr. Anonymous, in the seven years we have been together, money hasn't been a part of it. The years we spent in a 300 sq ft apartment driving our hand me down car are not lost on us. We are proud to be where we are at. Yes, while my husband makes the money, he does it with the support of his wife. A wife he is proud to be able to buy nice things for. If he ever does get frustrated I'm sure he can find comfort in his newly tricked out carbon fiber bike, his 4 surfboards, 2 snowboards, his paddle board, or during one of the surf trips that he takes by himself while I am home with his son. Spending in our home is a two way street. And is never done before the savings is in tact. So Mr. Anonymous I think we will be just fine. But again I truly thank you for your interest and I'm so glad you are my number one fan.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
- Denial- OK, this website is wrong. I really don't have to query (whatever the hell that is) this many agents waiting months before I hear back. What? All these websites say the same thing? Well they are all wrong.
- Anger-Are you effing kidding me. I have dreamt of this book from years. my blood (not really) sweat (well sort of) and tears (you got me there) will have gone into this thing, and all I get is to send a one page cover letter to some "person" who is going to decide whether my book (baby) is good enough? I don't think so!
- Bargaining- What if I write the book really fast and give up all online shopping (gasp) then can a get an agent? Please, Please, Please? Honey, why can't you fix this??????
- Depression- Why even write the stupid thing. It's not like anyone is ever going to read it. I mean, really, what's the point?
- Acceptance- Fine. If this is how the game is played, I show them. I'll write the best query they have ever seen and they will all want exclusive rights to my book. Then I'll pit them all against each other and see you can come up with the best book deal plus an advance for the next two novels! I'll show you who's in charge.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
I have to share this with you! I believe it is my duty as a fashion lover! Last week I wrote about my mild (now major) obsession with Gwyneth Paltrow. One of my favorite readers, That Girl, then turned me on to what has become my favorite website. Actually, the website is not fully up and running yet, but their newsletter is, and OMG it is amazing. This is my key to becoming my most fashionable self! I can't believe it only took me thirty years to get here.
I was so unbelievably excited when I got this email, that I immediately forwarded it to every yummmy mummy I knew. I also sent it to a few of my single gal friends, and you know what? They already knew about it! Damn I thought, I really am living in a bomb shelter! At least I have you fab mommies out there in the blogosphere to keep me in line.
Below is the best email ever to hit my inbox. I am now on my way to Newbury Street to scoop up every piece mentioned (take a deep breath, honey, I am just kidding; sort of...)
A girl can dream can't she?
At 10PM I realized I had some major technical difficulties uploading the email. Here are some of the pics. The idea is what you can do with just a plain gray tank to get you through your busy "mom" day....getting the kids to school, heading out to run errands, meetings, etc. All doing it looking fabulous just like Gwyn.Go to www.GOOP.com to sign up for the newsletter, you won't be disappointed!