Dear New England

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Yep, its one of those posts.

Dear New England,

I'm not quite sure how to start this letter. You and I have been together for almost 7 years now. 7 long snow filled years. 
Usually I am pretty patient with you. Usually I able to hold off our first fight until at least February. This year you gave me my first white Christmas so I will try to remember that when we have this much needed conversation. 

What you want me to bottom line it for you?

New England, you are starting to really piss me off. Would you please make up your freaking mind already!!!

Here is an example of what I am talking about. Friday it was 30 degrees, Saturday 50 and Sunday 63. Yesterday it was 35. Today I was nearly knocked off my feet by the 40 mph wind and tomorrow it is going to snow 5 inches and with the wind chill feeling like -10 tomorrow night. 

See, this is where you start to lose me. -10 degrees. WTF. Thank god I refuse to celebrate New Years Eve (to be discussed tomorrow) because that would have absolutely ruined my night. What does a girl wear to the ball in below zero temps and a blizzard? Wellies and a puffy coat. Yeah, I don't think so.

Look I expect it to be cold. I expect it to snow. Can we just keep a little more constancy please. 

I like to know what I'm wearing for the next few months. I don't need to be digging for my Spring clothes in the middle of December only to then bury them the next day. I don't need to feel the warmth of the sun on my face only for you to spit cold wind on it the next day. I don't need to remember what it is like to go out without ten layers on me or my little man, only to be faced with the exhaustion of having to bundle up the next day.

OK? Do we have some sort of understanding? Don't remind me of how amazing you are in the Spring and Summer. It just hurts too bad. 

This time I'm willing to give you a pass. Why you ask? Because your cute little warm weather stunt gave me the perfect opportunity to wear my amazing new Vera Wang top to Saturday date night. For that you are forgiven. This time.

Let's just put this past week behind us. Let's move on. Just don't let it happen again. I just purchased My Dream Home here and given the current state of the market I don't think we will be moving anytime soon so we are really going to need to work on this. I'll try to be patient with you and you will try to keep us around 40 degrees for the next 4 months. While we are at it can you only snow on the weekend? 

Hey, just thought I'd ask.


2 comments :

Legally Brunette said...

I love it! Perfectly said. Now if I could just stop dropping my new gloves all over town, I would be all set for every 40 degree and below day between now and April!

Jean said...

Love the letter! Don't move to England though, because although it rarely gets as cold as New England the weather is never, ever consistent. Let's put it this way, a real Englishwoman never leaves home without her brolly (even in the summer).