Executive Decision Time.

This past week the Husband and I have been driving ourselves crazy trying to figure out when we will be able to schedule our next IVF cycle. Crazy as in we are about to kill each other, kind of crazy. We thought we would be able to do it in July but now that my cycle is back on track the dates are not going to work out. To do the IVF, we (I) have to be here for at least 25 days in a row, and my hubby has to be here on retrieval day. Since all of this is flexible we basically have to make sure we are available every day for at least 30 days, starting on a day which there is no way of knowing when it will begin. Between trips we have planned for pleasure, and trips my husband has for work, there is just no way this is going to happen this Summer. When you add on the fact that I have to account for at least 2-4 weeks of painful bed rest, I finally came to an executive decision (I am the CEO of this house, therefore that makes me an executive.) The decision?

I GIVE UP! (shouted while throwing arms in the air.)

No, I haven't yet given up on baby number 2 (like that would happen,) but I have given up on any possibility of IVF over the Summer. We would have to kill ourselves to make it work, and the stress and the uncertainty is not something I am looking to sign up for. I am basically washing my hands with the whole thing until September (at the earliest.) We will still "try" on our own each month, but there will be no ultrasounds, no needles, no talk of transfers or retrievals, or embryos until the Fall. I hate the idea of waiting any longer, but more so I hate the idea of freaking out all Summer and trying to get in an IVF cycle that may or may not happen.

So that's it. That's my final answer. My little man and I are going to have another great Summer on our own and will be enjoying a few family trips together. There will be no tears, no disappointing tests, and best of all no pain for an entire season. My kids may be 4 years apart, but such is life. I finally am giving in to the unknown and giving up.

For now anyway...