After getting the results from our ultrasound Monday (which was absolutely perfect :)) I decided to spend the afternoon, yesterday, reconnecting with my pregnancy (i.e. sorting through a bunch of baby crap) and I realized two things:
- My little man only wore blue for the first year of his life, and despite the fact that in my head I loathe the idea of pink for girls, and blue for boys, I clearly didn't pass this philosophy on to my little man. All I can say is that it's a good thing we are having a boy, because if it was a girl she would have some serious gender confusion with everyone calling her a he. I hope this baby likes blue, because he's got a sea of it (or three large bins of it, to be exact) waiting for him when he finally makes his arrival.
- I clearly overbought newborn diapers the first time around. Yes, those 200+ diapers are leftovers from the little man. The fact that they made it though 2 moves is pretty impressive, I have to say. I'm not sure if it was because my guy was 8 1/2 lbs at birth, or if it was part of my insane fear that we would run out of anything and everything. Either way we still have WAY too many diapers in every size, which is a a good thing, because if there is one thing I remember, it's just how many diaper changes a little one needs.
Clearly, the nesting has set in...
Next step, painting the nursery!
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11 comments :
Love all the blue things. Can't wait to see how the nursery turns out.
Yummy Mummy, would you mind if I asked you a personal question? I know this is very personal and if you don't wish to answer it that's fine. But on the off chance that you would respond, I feel it would really help out other women who find themselves in a similar position to yours. (Like me.)
Have you thought about what you will tell your children when they are older, about the circumstances of each of their conceptions? I currently have one child, conceived naturally, and DH and I are undergoing IVF to conceive our 2nd child. The only thing we struggle with is how baby number 2 might feel, down the road, if we ever tell him/her that their older brother was conceived naturally but he/she was not.
How do you feel about this? Is this something you ever think about? I worry for baby #2, that they might have some spiritual conflict about this later in life. I'd love to hear your opinion about it.
Thanks so much, if you do decide to respond.
Sarah Jane, Tp be honest I have never really thought about it. For me I don't really see that big of a difference. It's my egg, my husband's sperm, and my womb, the same things that created my little man. I think that in the age our children are growing up in, families are created in such varying ways, surrogates, donor eggs, adoption, fostering, etc... that I can't imagine have been conceived through IVF will make any difference. Also, I would have done the exact same thing to get pregnant with my LM so for me it is the same. Also, you never know what problems our own children will have conceiving, if they chose to do so, and I feel like it would be a great support, and comfort to know that their parents went through the same thing and were successful. I don't think I'd even mention in until they were in their teens or beyond, and really only if it seemed like they were really interested in how they were conceived. Maybe in the context of a high school health class.
I have to add that we are very much a family who does not fear Western Medicine, but rather embraces it, and that we are also not religious in any way, so I'm not sure how much that plays into my thoughts on this, but as far as I am concerned a baby/child is a baby/child and however it got here it is a great gift and responsibility. Some take a little more work, but in the end they are all perfect!
I wish you the best of luck in your upcoming IVF, and we are proof it really does work, and it only takes on little embryo!
Please don't hesistate to email me if you need to talk to someone who's been through it all.
xo
Thanks. Interesting perspective. I'm not religious at all, so that has nothing to do with it. But I do have my own set of ethics and somehow I cannot shake the feeling that the kids have the right to know how they were conceived. That is not something I feel comfortable not telling them until they are in high school or beyond. If for no other reason than medical or spiritual issues might arise in which it would be helpful to know how they came into being in this world.
I'm not afraid of Western Medicine either, but IVF is an altogether different territory and can not be lumped in with blood tranfusions, pacemakers, etc. To my mind, the creation of human life still has a spark of the unknown (some might say divine) in it. I am still going for the IVF, because we desperately want a second child. But I have to say, if I'm being honest, that I fear that I may look at the 2 kids differently like son #1 is a natural child and son/daughter #2 is somehow artificial. Like nature saw fit for son #1 to be here, but us humans manipulated nature to bring about #2's existence. I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but I'll bet more people who go through IVF have these thoughts than will admit it. I don't want to struggle with these thoughts, but I am. I just wanted to hear the perspective of someone who doesn't struggle with this at all and why/how it is that you don't. Thank you.
Also, and this is just my opinion so feel free to disregard or disagree, but I think that being a good parent means thinking about these things before we go ahead and do the IVF. If we are truly kind and decent people, we will think about our future childrens' welfare just as much as we think about our own desires. So many people seem to be of the frame of mind "I WANT ANOTHER CHILD!" that they don't stop and think beyond what THEY want. They don't give a second's consideration to the future physical, mental, and emotional health of that child that they are creating through the miracle of science. They aren't asking themselves, "is this in the best interest of my future child?" they are only asking themselves "how can I get what I want?". More and more it seems I'm hearing people say "I've never really thought about it", which makes me sad because how can you not think about the emotional welfare of your future child?
Mind you, and this is important, I'm not AT ALL suggesting this of you, Yummy. But this is the stuff that turns me off to IVF and is the stuff that keeps me up at night. I'm trying to figure this all out in order to know how I feel about going forward with the IVF process.
Sarah,
Obviously I don't know you, but if you are having these concerns I would have to say that you should really figure it out before conceiving this way. I have spoken with quite a few people who have gone through IVF, and to be honest, none of them have expressed concerns to this magnitude. I haven't thought about it, because it makes no difference. A child is not less healthy because they are conceived differently. There is absolutely nothing different other than the fact that the egg and sperm met outside the womb, rather than in. The child will be exactly the same as any other child, so I'm not sure how this would effect their welfare any different than any other naturally conceived child.
After 2 long years, we knew, without a doubt, that we would absolutely love this child the same as our other son. If you are having doubts like that before conceiving, I would take some time to work that out before bringing a child into the world this way. I know my center, and others, offer therapy to couples in these situations, and it might be a good idea to meet with other parents who are going through the same process.
We have very much considered our decision, and, again, I still don't any issue with conceiving through IVF, or any other way.
I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sure you will do what is best for you and your family.
Thanks so much for sharing honestly and openly, Yummy.
Sarah Jane, I applaud your careful consideration of these issues and your putting the potential future child's well-being at the forefront, instead just being like "I WANT A BABY AND I WANT IT NOW, AND I DON'T CARE HOW!" like so many stupid people today.
You sound like a really responsible citizen and truly good human being. Whatever your feelings are about IVF, you are taking the time to consider how your decisions will impact the future child who will result. So many woman are like "we never thought about it, we just wanted the baaaaaaaybeeeeee". That is so freaking selfish, it drives me bonkers.
I'm not quite sure how anyone can go through the expense, physical and emotional pain of IVF and not think about what they are doing and the child they are creating. Really, it's not like a day/month/year at the spa.
Typically people who go through IVF are likely to be more involved parents. People get "accidentally" pregnant all the time. There is no accident when it comes to IVF.
"Typically people who go through IVF are likely to be more involved parents."
whoa. Think about that for a minute.
Are you going to be more involved with this one than you were with LM? Is this one somehow more valuable or deserving of your attention?
Clearly, I meant more involved parents in general, not more involved with that kid versus other children that they make have not planned for. Both my children were very much wanted, and desired, and I am and will continue to be a very good mother to both as, are the majority of parents.
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