101 Things I Have Learned From The Little Man.

Friday, June 12, 2009

# 99 If Elmo Ran For President He Would Win.

Over the past few months I have come to the firm belief that if Elmo were to run for president he would most definitely win by a landslide. Why? Because what parent doesn't in some way owe any/all of their remaining sanity to that amazing marketing genus named Elmo?

My kid loves Elmo. Loves him. I have learned that we are in no way unique in this respect. However, what I find to be most bizarre about his love of this little red creature is that until last month, he had never even seen an episode of Sesame Street. Never. Obviously, that has changed and now that amazing show is my best and sometimes only bargaining tool. 

So how does a kid become so attached to a figure that by all accounts in the most annoying thing that has ever been created? The better question is how can't he. Elmo is everywhere. He is on his diapers, crackers, cookies, fish sticks, juice, toys, clothes, toothbrushs, toothpaste, and of course most importantly his band aids; you name it someone slapped Elmo's face on it. I never really noticed it until the little man started talking about a month ago. Now as we walk down the aisles at Whole Foods or Target, there is a symphony of Elmo, Elmo, Elmo coming from that little blonde head inside the stroller. I look around trying to find what he sees, and really it's everything. I swear Elmo may be taking over the world. Oh, the things only you notice when you enter into mommyhood.

At first I thought this was a very bad thing. I mean, we don't buy the juice with Elmo on it as I prefer an organic brand. Same goes for the fish sticks, diapers, etc. This would really upset the little man and then it hit me. I could use Elmo to my advantage. I buy one, item of Elmo related merchandise and refill it with my brand of choice. 

The following conversation then ensues:
YM: Eat you dinner.
LM: No.
YM: Just the fish sticks.
LM: No.
YM: But these are Elmo fish sticks, said while holding up the box.
LM: Mmmmmmmm Elmo.
And if I'm really being honest here the rest of the conversation goes:
YM: If you eat all of your dinner I'll let you watch Elmo while you eat. (I know, I know great table manners)
LM: Elmo! Said while shoveling piles of food in. 
Hey, whatever works. Right?

Elmo can even solve some of the biggest problems. For instance the bringing home of a new sibling. Two of my mummy friends had the brilliant idea that when they brought the new baby home that rather than having a party to celebrate the baby's arrival, they would have a big brother, Elmo party. There were Elmo cakes, balloons, plates, and of course a new tickle me Elmo. Those boys had such a great time that their party that they didn't even notice that they were no longer the only "baby" in the house. Not only do I think that this was a fantastic idea, I am so totally stealing it as well.

As I said, Elmo = Sanity. If he runs for president in 2016, I would offer up my services as his campaign manager. 

Now that I think about it, does the fact that he is made in China eliminate him from the competition buy default of him not being an American citizen?

Hmmmm maybe he can get the Nobel Peace Prize instead for all the peace he brings to households all over the world.




6 comments :

Jo said...

Elmo is just a freak of nature b/c every kid is magically brainwashed by him. A little off-topic but my husband has always contended that Elmo's a few bricks short of a load.

Yummy Mummy said...

I think your husband may be correct. I just wish they could bring his voice down a few octives. Is that too much to ask?

Polly said...

Its Dora for us and if you son is ever Dora mad you will notice there is just as much Dora about as Elmo....Personally I think Dora is far scarier - the staring and the blinks.....freaky!

Jodi said...

hi,
I don't know what the deal is with that-when i could't get pregnant ALL I saw were pregnant women now i don't even notice them if they are around.

Yummy Mummy said...

Jodi- I swear sometimes I am losing my mind. It's like a bad disease I can't catch! On the bright side, if it happens to them it has to happen to me!

Anonymous said...

please, america, stop feeding your children nonsense food. i mean, fishsticks???