I feel like I have spent this whole pregnancy, holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have been telling myself that we have made it through the hard part in the conception stage, but I have just been so afraid that somewhere along the line we would hit a bump in the road. Well, we have, and Friday I got some pretty scary results from a screening that we completed just prior to my 16th week. I feel like I should let you all know, because this week I will probably be a bit MIA from the blog, and I wanted you to know why.
Basically, my numbers came back from some tests that we had, and both are slightly high. This puts the baby at a higher risk for down syndrome, and we went from somewhere like 1:500, to 1:30. I have been obsessing (and convinced) that we are the 1 for the last two days, and now I am just trying to remember that we could just as easily be the other 29, and more likely so. The numbers seem SO UNBELIEVABLY SCARY, but as my husband, and all my friends/family members keep telling me, it just means that we went from a .05 chance, to a 3.3 percent chance. So, here I am, left holding onto the fact that we can just as easily be in the 96.7%, as in the former.
The only course of action, for us, is to know for sure. I have an amniocentesis scheduled Tuesday morning, and we should have the results within a week. Again, my savior, my MIL is coming up to help out, so I should be able to minimize the risk of miscarriage (something that can happen as a result of the amnio) as much we can. Other than that there is nothing to do but wait and worry.
It's going to be a relief when all this is over, but for now it's pretty hard to keep from wallowing, and obsessing. My head is telling me everything is going to be fine, so I hopefully I will soon start to believe it.
It's going to be a very long week.