A Bump In the Road.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I feel like I have spent this whole pregnancy, holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have been telling myself that we have made it through the hard part in the conception stage, but I have just been so afraid that somewhere along the line we would hit a bump in the road. Well, we have, and Friday I got some pretty scary results from a screening that we completed just prior to my 16th week. I feel like I should let you all know, because this week I will probably be a bit MIA from the blog, and I wanted you to know why.

Basically, my numbers came back from some tests that we had, and both are slightly high. This puts the baby at a higher risk for down syndrome, and we went from somewhere like 1:500, to 1:30. I have been obsessing (and convinced) that we are the 1 for the last two days, and now I am just trying to remember that we could just as easily be the other 29, and more likely so. The numbers seem SO UNBELIEVABLY SCARY, but as my husband, and all my friends/family members keep telling me, it just means that we went from a .05 chance, to a 3.3 percent chance. So, here I am, left holding onto the fact that we can just as easily be in the 96.7%, as in the former.

The only course of action, for us, is to know for sure. I have an amniocentesis scheduled Tuesday morning, and we should have the results within a week. Again, my savior, my MIL is coming up to help out, so I should be able to minimize the risk of miscarriage (something that can happen as a result of the amnio) as much we can. Other than that there is nothing to do but wait and worry.

It's going to be a relief when all this is over, but for now it's pretty hard to keep from wallowing, and obsessing. My head is telling me everything is going to be fine, so I hopefully I will soon start to believe it.

It's going to be a very long week.

32 comments :

Anonymous said...

Sending good thoughts your way, YM. Thinking of you and the little one!

Melinda said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Positive thoughts coming your way

Polly said...

Take care of yourself Yum.

KelliJ said...

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Stay positive and strong.

Anonymous said...

My AFP results with my first were high as well, and I really freaked out. However, after we did an in depth ultrasound, everything looked normal, so I opted against the amnio. Our little turned out just fine, but I definitely spent a lot of time worrying needlessly. I have heard countless stories from moms who have had the same experience, as there are a lot of factors that can influence that particular test. Try to keep your thoughts positive and we will all be thinking of you!

Ann said...

Thinking of you and sending positive energy and thoughts your way. I've been keeping up with you for a while now (years?), and I know this has been a long path.

Anonymous said...

love and prayers prayers prayers. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Kim said...

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I shared an office with a colleague whose wife had similar results, and they were very distressed until the amnio showed things were fine. One thing I learned from him was that some of these tests have a fairly high margin of error, something my colleague felt his doctor had not fully explained to him at first, which he felt caused them a lot of unnecessary stress.

Anonymous said...

Our results with our first pregnancy were "above normal" as well. Like yours, I had a 3% chance too (per the blood work). The u/s looked fine. The doctor really pushed me for an amnio and I decided to take my 97% chance that things were going to be just fine! Since then, I've heard varying things regarding the blood work part of the test - very very subjective and have even had friends that ONLY got the NT screening ultrasound. I wouldn't worry (easier said than done) and I'm sure your little one is just fine. We ended up declining to have the amnio because I wasn't comfortable with the additional risk, although I know it's small. In the end, we ended up losing our baby at 17 weeks by things COMPLETELY unrelated - our darling boy was perfectly normal.

This time around (shhhh...) ;) we have decided to forgo the screening because of the additional stress it brought us last time. I understand the stress your feeling and we will be keeping you, your family and your little one in our prayers! -Amber (from Tavarua) ;)

Lilian said...

Prayers, prayers, and more prayers your way.

Joey said...

I was where you are and things turned out perfect. These darn test scare the crap out of you. The markers are just that - markers. And often - ALOT - they go away. I will keep you in my thoughts and pray you can keep yourself calm. I totally understand.

Julie Q said...

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Everything will be fine!!

Paula said...

Went through that with my youngest. Skipped the amnio due to the increased risk of mc and my history of mc, but long story short. My little man was and is perfectly healthy! You and yours will be in my thoughts this week.

two peas in their pod said...

Hi. I've read your blog and have never commented, but after reading this--I wanted to share my experience with you. Like some of the other ladies, I too, had this scare with my pregnancy (after 7 miscarriages) and I was TERRIFIED. They told me that I had a 1 in 5 chance of the baby having trisomy 18. We had a CVS and had the results within 48 hours. Everything was fine. Totally fine. I know that somtimes the markers are actually true, but after this scare---I've heard a million stories like mine. For whatever it's worth, I understand how you feel and I send you nothing but peace the next few days. Take care of yourself and stay has positive as possible (i know... it's hard).

Anonymous said...

That's one expensive potential retard you paid to have created and stuffed up your rotten twat! Sucks to be you, Yucky Mommy!

minervabird said...

I know it is easy for me to say "don't worry," but "don't worry." High margin of error is rather an understatement....your little man number two will be just fine.

Take care of yourself.

Yummy Mummy said...

I'm not even sure how to respond to that last anon, except 1) How dare you call my baby a retard, that word is offensive, and so are you leaving that on the blog. You are a coward, why don't you leave your email? 2) I am so freaking sick and tired of hearing about how much money we "wasted" on IVF. IT IS COVERED BY OUR INSURANCE. I have said that multiple times here... we DON'T PAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN A DEDUCTIBLE. Do your homework. The rest I won't even bother commenting on, it is way to below me.

For the rest of you, THANK YOU. Your well wishes mean the world to me, and hearing your stories with such positive outcomes gives me so much hope. I am definitely trying to focus on the fact that it is way more likely than not that everything will be okay. As my husband said, if I told you that the little man had a 97% chance of being happy, and healthy, and living a long life, you would consider those to be awesome odds. Same has to go for the little bean.

I am very anxious about the procedure tomorrow, but I feel like we are making the right choice with the amnio. Our ultrasound will be done by one of the world's best, and with lots of rest I am sure everything is going to be just fine.

Just when I thought the best words ever were, your pregnant, now I can't wait to hear them say, your baby is healthy.

I have to believe that is truly is just a little bump in the road.

Thank you again for all your love,

Robin

Anonymous said...

Sending good thoughts your way!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Robin, it's Jo here (usually not anonymous, but at work). You're dealing with double scary...that statistic and amnio procedure. The chances are WAY in your favor that your baby is perfectly fine. Imagine that there's a jar full of yellow jelly beans and just one jb is purple; now reach in and pick one. What are the odds you snag that purple one? Pretty damn slim. As for amnio, it is MUCH scarier thinking about it than actually having it. (I had three amnios, and with my first child they had to stick me twice b/c my son moved toward the needle.) The actual needle part is all of 30 seconds...the rest is prep u/s. The risk of MC is extremely low, especially w/doc who regularly does these. So sit tight and try not to worry too much. (easier said than done).

Anonymous said...

I've been reading you for a long time now, but hav never commented and never thought I really would. Although we've never met, I had a smile on my face the whole day you announced you were pregnant and might dedicate my next wrinkle to waiting to hear your little one is healthy.

I feel compelled to comment after that absolutely disgusting display by the above anon. Anon, I hope you know that karma is alive an well in this world and I hope nothing more than that your cowardice and negative energy come back to you. Yum, don't even feel the need to justify anything you've done. That is the worst kind of person and they don't deserve it. Best wishes.

Anonymous said...

Regarding the anon comment...I would not post the comment nor dignify it with a response.

Best wishes to you and your baby, I'm sure everything will turn out fine. Everything happens for a reason, just try and relax and not stress! Sending love and prayers your way.

Lindsey

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, I went through a very difficult period in my life that resulted in my carrying around the same kind of horrible bitterness and hate and rage as your anonymous commenter. While I never actually lashed out like anonymous commenter, my anger and self-loathing and depression caused the same kind of thoughts to run through my mind. Having gotten through it and come out on the other side by the grace of God, I write this to affirm what I'm sure you already suspect - your anonymous commenter is in his/her private hell right now, ranting at you out of jealousy and envy and fear and anger. Please don't allow him to diminish a single moment of your joy in your pregnancy, or aggravate your completely understandable anxiety. And please keep blogging! Trival as it sounds right now, I NEED your fashion posts - I rely on them as guidance when purchasing my wardrobe (just wish you lived somewhere warmer as our climates are different :)) And, for what it's worth, I too have a friend who had positive blood test results, but a baby with no abnormalities. Anyway, all of this being a long-winded way of saying please don't worry, and please keep blogging.

Anonymous said...

Nothing to worry about YM - there is a very small chance that anything is wrong, and either way, you and your husband are going to love that baby no matter what the results are. Praying for you!

Chrissie said...

YM, I am sending good thoughts your way!! I’m sure everything will be just fine.
As for you Annon, you should be ashamed of yourself for posting such a message!! How dare you! If you have the gaul to make such a post, you could certainly leave your name. You are a coward and seem very bitter! YM has been through quite an ordeal trying to get pregnant. If you actually took the time to read her posts you would know that! I, for one, look forward to reading her blog everyday. I am genuinely happy for her and her family and wish them NOTHING BUT THE BEST!!!

Anonymous said...

YM-thinking of you and your little bean. Keeping fingers and toes crossed that all goes well tomorrow and throughout the rest of your pregnancy!

lunarossa said...

Thinking of you. Be positive. Everything is going to be fine. All the best. Ciao. A.

Anonymous said...

Everything will be fine. Nearly all of us have had this sort of moment a pregnancy. As unsettling as they are, I feel they serve the purpose of intraspection. Are you upset because a handicapped child wouldn't be the accessory you wanted to a "fabulous" lifestyle or fit with the image you'd like to project to the rest of the world? Of course not (I hope). Are you upset because you feel you "deserve" a perfect child after all you've gone through to get pregnant. Of course not (I hope). So through this process you reaffirm that this worry, and this pregnancy, is about the child, and only the child. Independant of you. Independent of the tree you paint on the nursery wall. Independent of what you'll wear to show off your belly bump like your favorite celebrity. This, you realize, is about what really matters.

Jen said...

Jealous of Yummy Mummy? You must be joking. Surely, not everyone who is disgusted by her vapid indulgence is jealous of her. Grow up.

JP said...

A thought from someone whose heart isn't quite so hard (and putrid and black) as the ladies' above:
You obviously love both of your children and worry over their health and safety. No matter what the outcome of the tests, I know you will do everything you can to give your kids a warm and loving home. That's why you're a true Yummy Mummy!

Amy Bean said...

Why would you even approve that anonymous comment and let it get air-time here, Yummy? Please, let us know why!

Yummy Mummy said...

Amy, I published it because I received a few like that, and sometimes the best way to get them to stop is to let one go. Sadly, some people actually think that way, and it is easier to address it in the comments then to keep having to moderate them.

Also, it really pissed me off, so I wanted to respond.

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